Monday, March 11, 2013

The Bachelor: Season Finale

Sure, the season finale's here, but you know what?  So is Chris Harrison's new clothing line.  I know what I want for Christmas...

7:50: But seriously.  Catherine and Lindsay over Dez and Lesley?  Really?

8:01: Excuse me, but I have a tradition to uphold.

We know who you are, Chris Harrison.  You don't need to introduce yourself.

8:02: Oh, live show!  I like when they do the cutaway to the live show during the finale.

8:03: Wait, what's the late breaking news?  ARE THEY GETTING MARRIED ON AFTER THE FINAL ROSE?!  Because that would trump every season ever.

8:04: Oh yes.  Smith may be five years old, but he just went there.  Respect.

8:05: Just throwing this out there - Smith and Kensington are names given to kids by rich people.

8:07: Girl playing football.  Respect.

8:09: Is "reciprocate" the random word of the season?  First Dez's brother, now Catherine.

8:10: Sean's mom just called Catherine a "lady".  Only rich people do that.

8:12: Sean's dad just unintentionally brought up Catherine's daddy issues.  I'm not gonna lie, it got kinda dusty in the Chantastic living room during that scene.

8:14: Sean said that he could see him and Catherine on a Saturday afternoon having lunch with the rest of his family as a group of six.  Let's count the (potential) family members: Sean, Catherine, Sean's sister, Sean's brother-in-law, Sean's mom, and Sean's dad.  What about Kensington and Smith, Sean?  You do realize that children outgrow the kiddie table, right?

8:20: Tough questions from Sean's dad.

8:22: Jay is awesome.

8:25: Lindsay needs to play the "My dad is a 2 star general" card.  That's her edge over Catherine. She needs to play it.

8:34: Sean into protective mode as soon as his mom began tearing up.  Away from the cameras they go.

9:07: No comments for the two dates because there's really nothing to say when it's the final two.

9:12: When Catherine is serious, she looks away from Sean when she is talking because she's nervous.

9:16: Catherine is doing a lot of emoting.

9:23: I was wondering when Shirtless Sean was going to show up.

9:26: Sean tears!

9:33: Crowd sentiment has flipped from Lindsay to Catherine.

9:34: I could totally multiply with Lesley...

9:43: Uh-oh.

9:44: This is not going to go well.

9:46: This is going much better than I thought.  I thought there were going to be more tears.

9:47: Don't drop the L-bomb, Sean.  That's unnecessary.

9:48: Ah, there it is.

9:49: I like that Lindsay took off her heels.  No need to impress this dude any more, get me out of here in the most efficient way possible.

9:50: Tears in the limo?

9:51: Tears in the limo.

9:52: Wait, it's not even a limo.  Poor Lindsay.

9:53: Chris Harrison, mailman.

9:54: The crowd is with me on the heels!

9:55: They just asked for a round of applause for Lindsay.  Is she not going to be on After The Final Rose?  Does that mean they're going to spend an hour talking to Sean and Catherine?  No way they have enough material to talk through that, unless Catherine sent him a breakup letter that creates a ton of drama and they spend the first half hour of ATFR sorting through that.

10:02: I'm so about this moment right now.  I'm such a sap.

10:05: Someone in Seattle is very upset that she just lost her best friend.

10:08: Best Chris Harrison comment ever: "The best part of this is that I don't have to see you naked ever again."

10:09: Whoa, super hottie in the audience.

10:17: I don't think this Lindsay interview is going to be that bad.  She's too cheery for it to be AshLee levels of uncomfortable.

10:25: See?  Not that bad.

10:30: My guess on the big late breaking news about their relationship: she's moving to Dallas.

10:32: Do the picture-in-picture of them watching the proposal back already.

10:34: "I'm a woman, I want to hear the man say it first."  Is that an actual thing?

10:47: I'm all in for this wedding, especially if Chris Harrison is marrying them.

10:56: Dez has new hair.

11:00: I'm going to miss this show.

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