Bachelor Pad: Season Finale

"Disturbing".
"The world will be talking about the Bachelor Pad finale."
"It may be two of the best hours that we've ever produced in the 10 years that we've been doing any franchise."

These are not words to describe a normal show.  But they're being used by Chris Harrison and Bachelor Pad producers to describe tonight's season finale.  This could be an epic night.

7:43: I'm so excited for tonight's episode that FMC Jamie is about #4 on my list of things I'm looking forward to tonight.  And you know that's saying something.

7:58: This YouTube clip has easily topped Michael Stagliano as my favourite Bachelor Pad related music video.  Just tremendous.

7:59: I'm giddy with excitement.  Just giddy.

8:00: I bet you Chris Harrison will unnecessarily introduce himself to the audience tonight.

8:01: There's no need to introduce yourself, Chris Harrison.  We know who you are.  Sorry, but that's tradition.

8:03: Oh no.  FMC Jamie got the same amount of cheers as the twins.  Oh no.  Oh no.

8:06: What is an "emotional banana sandwich"?

8:07: Broken glass.  Broken dreams.

8:08: Still going!  This makes me strangely happy.

8:09: "No, I'm good."  Kalon doesn't disappoint.

8:14: Is Stags going to bring up his music tour during this interview?

8:17: I enjoy how Erica is upset that she was lied to on Bachelor Pad.

8:21: This show is the best.

8:26: Ed is sharply dressed tonight.

8:30: I just want to point out that Jaclyn met her supposed best friend on a reality show less than a year ago.  Just throwing that out there.

8:32: How is there no update on Jaclyn and Ed?  That was an awkward conversation that I wanted to witness.

8:39: Did Blakely just treat "Scorpio" and "scorpion" as the same word?

8:40: "THIS GUY."

8:41: I'm not sure that that's a good look for Jamie.

8:43: Jaclyn, I'd rather be socially awkward and hot than annoyingly needy and not.

8:45: Wait a second...from those previews, is Nick The Mute going to do what it looks like he's about to do?

8:51: I respect any dude that breaks out of the FriendZone.

8:52: They stood up to announce her moving to Portland?  This is kinda ridiculous.

8:54: Neil Lane appearance!

8:55: Wow.  Well, that explains why they stood up.

8:59: Chris is dressed well.

9:01: Wow, Nick is completely zoned out and could not care less about this Rachel-Stags situation.

9:02: It's weird to see Nick without a massive sunburn all over.

9:04: Every time they cut to Nick, it looks like he's thinking about how this could be time spent under the sun.

9:17: The fans speak!

9:19: Wait, where was Nick and Rachel's "plea"?  I sure didn't hear one.  Nick is mute one last time.

9:23: Rachel hasn't flipped out yet, which means there's only one reason for her to go crazy...

9:28: Oh, prisoner's dilemma, how I'm about to love you...

9:32: That is some tremendously bad acting Rachel and Nick are doing "pondering their decision".  You know how I don't think about important life decisions?  By picking up two giant signs over and over again.

9:38: Ohmygodthisisgoingtobesoeffinggood.

9:39: Why is Chris Harrison standing behind that weird barrier thing?

9:40: YESYESYESYESYESYES.

9:42: Epic speech.  Epic everything.  EPIC.  EPIC.  EPIC.

9:44: NICK IS MY HERO.

9:45: "I'm the schmuck with $250,000."

9:47: Nick is like the villain you didn't see coming, and it's amazing.  Except his speech made perfect sense, and I don't blame him one bit.  All he needed after his speech was to show "KEEP" and then a mic to drop on the ground as he walked off stage.

9:48: I would like to join the Nick Fan Club.

9:49: Excellent point, Kalon.  Excellent point.

9:52: You know what I'd be doing if I just won $250,000?  Grinning ear to ear like Nick, that's what.

9:56: Note that Rachel hasn't come up with one valid reason why what Nick did was wrong.  Just a lot of crying and tears.

9:57: This was just so brilliant.  And everything he said in his speech made perfect sense.  Note that nobody was saying "He made the wrong decision."  Just a lot of "I can't believe he did that" and "I feel bad for her".  But his rationale was perfect.  That's why this is the prisoner's dilemma.

10:00: AMAZING.

10:01 This season was like a great movie with a massive Sixth Sense-esque twist at the end.  All of these clues that he wasn't who we thought he was, but we never put it together until the very, very end.  Nick, I applaud the hell out of you.  Well deserved, and well played.

10:07: Only one way to recap this season.  "BP3.  Anything goes."  Followed by a slow clap.  Can't wait til The Bachelor starts up again in January.