Monday, August 27, 2012

Bachelor Pad: Episode #6

Just because Michael Stagliano was sent home last week, that doesn't mean I'm done with him yet - shout out to G-Unit for informing me of his upcoming concert in Toronto.  Can you think of a better place to meet single ladies than at the concert of a Bachelorette castoff?  I sure can't.  Anyone want to be my wing-woman?  Stags is also promising hugs and pictures at every show, so I don't know how you could say no.

6:40: I was involved in a Bachelor Pad e-mail discussion today (of course) when I was asked who I thought would win this season.  Kalon is who I think will win.  But there's one person who would be a hilarious winner: Nick, whose speaking moments on camera you could possibly count using your hands.  How awesome would it be if the winner of Bachelor Pad was the guy who never said anything?

8:01: The thought of Blakely trying to spell has me giddy.

8:04: "Nick hasn't spoken this entire time."  So it's not because he just gives boring interviews.  Is he a mute?  Does he have a social anxiety disorder?  Why doesn't he speak?

8:10: This is going to be great.

8:11: There's no need to high five after correctly spelling a 4 letter word, Jaclyn.

8:12: Kalon just Clark Kent-ed us.

8:13: The three kid judges are learning that spelling is not necessary to being famous.

8:15: I love that Chris was made to spell "philanderer".

8:17: I'm flabberghasted.

8:21: Nick speaks!

8:23: Spell-off!

8:24: I love Chris Harrison and all, but he mispronounced "soiree".

8:25: Oh Kalon, why are you so awesome?

8:26: It's not serendipity that Chris spelled serendipity correctly.

8:27: Why didn't Chris get a man-rose?  Why did he get one with a stem?  That's poor foresight and preparation.  You don't say that very often about the production crew.

8:28: Tony is a good listener.  Which is important when your partner is Blakely.

8:29: Love the yellow bus to private plane cutaway contrast.  The editors on this show are the best.

8:33: I wouldn't exactly use the words "kick ass" to describe your performance in the spelling bee, Chris.

8:34: If they're in wine country, why don't they stop by Ben Flajnik's vineyard in Sonoma?

8:34: Wine country is not fit for Sarah's high heels.

8:36: Gotta give it up to Chris and Sarah for yelling "Serendipity" as they jump into the lake.

8:38: Nick speaks!

8:46: I'm surprised that Rachel doesn't have a tub of ice cream in front of her right now.

8:51: "It's going to be fun spending the night with Chris in this romantic barn."  Phrases that have never been uttered in the history of the English language.

8:58: That's pretty scenic.

8:59: Look at Jaclyn trying to rationalize Ed's behaviour.  It's Jamie-esque.

9:02: "I've done everything so normally."  Jaclyn, you slept with the guy who is infamous for drunkenly passing out in the hot tub.  There's nothing normal about that.

9:09: Tony and Blakely make sense to me.  Tokely?  Takely?  Blanely?  Blony?  Bony?  Bony.  Definitely Bony.

9:13: "I don't want to look like a whore." "I don't want to look like an asshole."  Nobody likes a one-upper, Ed.

9:15: Well, this is going to end badly, Jaclyn.

9:22: This Italian mafia music montage is pretty awesome.

9:23: "Emotional alcoholics" is a fantastic phrase, and I commend you, Kalon, for coining it.

9:28: Underrated storyline the past couple of episodes that nobody is talking about: Jaclyn overtaking Lindzi as the biggest makeup abuser in the house.

9:34: Ah, so this is why Nick never speaks.

9:49: Lindzi just did Kalon's lip pout thing.

9:52: Why are they not leaving in the same limo?

9:53: YES!

9:54: That made me happy.

9:56: The trailer for next week look amazing.  This show is the best.

10:00: "I need to page my son."  Classic.

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