"Disturbing".
"The world will be talking about the Bachelor Pad finale."
"It may be two of the best hours that we've ever produced in the 10 years that we've been doing any franchise."
These are not words to describe a normal show. But they're being used by Chris Harrison and Bachelor Pad producers to describe tonight's season finale. This could be an epic night.
7:43: I'm so excited for tonight's episode that FMC Jamie is about #4 on my list of things I'm looking forward to tonight. And you know that's saying something.
7:58: This YouTube clip has easily topped Michael Stagliano as my favourite Bachelor Pad related music video. Just tremendous.
7:59: I'm giddy with excitement. Just giddy.
8:00: I bet you Chris Harrison will unnecessarily introduce himself to the audience tonight.
8:01: There's no need to introduce yourself, Chris Harrison. We know who you are. Sorry, but that's tradition.
8:03: Oh no. FMC Jamie got the same amount of cheers as the twins. Oh no. Oh no.
8:06: What is an "emotional banana sandwich"?
8:07: Broken glass. Broken dreams.
8:08: Still going! This makes me strangely happy.
8:09: "No, I'm good." Kalon doesn't disappoint.
8:14: Is Stags going to bring up his music tour during this interview?
8:17: I enjoy how Erica is upset that she was lied to on Bachelor Pad.
8:21: This show is the best.
8:26: Ed is sharply dressed tonight.
8:30: I just want to point out that Jaclyn met her supposed best friend on a reality show less than a year ago. Just throwing that out there.
8:32: How is there no update on Jaclyn and Ed? That was an awkward conversation that I wanted to witness.
8:39: Did Blakely just treat "Scorpio" and "scorpion" as the same word?
8:40: "THIS GUY."
8:41: I'm not sure that that's a good look for Jamie.
8:43: Jaclyn, I'd rather be socially awkward and hot than annoyingly needy and not.
8:45: Wait a second...from those previews, is Nick The Mute going to do what it looks like he's about to do?
8:51: I respect any dude that breaks out of the FriendZone.
8:52: They stood up to announce her moving to Portland? This is kinda ridiculous.
8:54: Neil Lane appearance!
8:55: Wow. Well, that explains why they stood up.
8:59: Chris is dressed well.
9:01: Wow, Nick is completely zoned out and could not care less about this Rachel-Stags situation.
9:02: It's weird to see Nick without a massive sunburn all over.
9:04: Every time they cut to Nick, it looks like he's thinking about how this could be time spent under the sun.
9:17: The fans speak!
9:19: Wait, where was Nick and Rachel's "plea"? I sure didn't hear one. Nick is mute one last time.
9:23: Rachel hasn't flipped out yet, which means there's only one reason for her to go crazy...
9:28: Oh, prisoner's dilemma, how I'm about to love you...
9:32: That is some tremendously bad acting Rachel and Nick are doing "pondering their decision". You know how I don't think about important life decisions? By picking up two giant signs over and over again.
9:38: Ohmygodthisisgoingtobesoeffinggood.
9:39: Why is Chris Harrison standing behind that weird barrier thing?
9:40: YESYESYESYESYESYES.
9:42: Epic speech. Epic everything. EPIC. EPIC. EPIC.
9:44: NICK IS MY HERO.
9:45: "I'm the schmuck with $250,000."
9:47: Nick is like the villain you didn't see coming, and it's amazing. Except his speech made perfect sense, and I don't blame him one bit. All he needed after his speech was to show "KEEP" and then a mic to drop on the ground as he walked off stage.
9:48: I would like to join the Nick Fan Club.
9:49: Excellent point, Kalon. Excellent point.
9:52: You know what I'd be doing if I just won $250,000? Grinning ear to ear like Nick, that's what.
9:56: Note that Rachel hasn't come up with one valid reason why what Nick did was wrong. Just a lot of crying and tears.
9:57: This was just so brilliant. And everything he said in his speech made perfect sense. Note that nobody was saying "He made the wrong decision." Just a lot of "I can't believe he did that" and "I feel bad for her". But his rationale was perfect. That's why this is the prisoner's dilemma.
10:00: AMAZING.
10:01 This season was like a great movie with a massive Sixth Sense-esque twist at the end. All of these clues that he wasn't who we thought he was, but we never put it together until the very, very end. Nick, I applaud the hell out of you. Well deserved, and well played.
10:07: Only one way to recap this season. "BP3. Anything goes." Followed by a slow clap. Can't wait til The Bachelor starts up again in January.
Showing posts with label bachelor pad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bachelor pad. Show all posts
Monday, September 10, 2012
Monday, September 03, 2012
Bachelor Pad: Episode #7
It's Labour Day, so I've given the guy who writes the normal pre-amble to the running diary the day off. I'm a great boss like that.
7:57: Kalon's gone, Erica's gone, Stags is gone. Among the remaining cast members are Despondent Rachel and a possible mute. Who's going to provide the entertainment now?
8:01 Nick The Mute speaks!
8:02: Who decides on the champagne toast-giver? Why did Chris get to do it this episode? Is it because he won the spelling bee challenge last week?
8:03: Nick The Mute speaks again! Also, it seems like Nick has spent some time under the sun.
8:04: Blakely on Chris: "He is a good game-player. But he's also conniving and a liar." Isn't that what normally makes someone a good "game-player"?
8:05: Tony's breaking out the stylish beater today.
8:07: Speaking of Tony's wardrobe, Dave Jacoby of the Grantland Reality Fantasy League raised a good question during last week's episode: Why was Tony in an outfit befitting a figure skater?
8:09: Trapeze time!
8:10: Tony has unfortunate fashion choices.
8:11: Nick The Mute has a personality!
8:12: Gotta be Donna!
8:15: "Sarah's TV watching is definitely paying off."
8:18: I'd be lying if I said I'm not jealous of Sarah's Bachelor/ette/Pad knowledge.
8:23: Someone call the NRA - Rachel is putting on a gun show.
8:24: Nick is making up for lost time - he's spoken more this episode than all previous episodes.
8:25: For those counting at home, that's three mentions of Tony's son tonight, and we're only 25 minutes in. This is clearly the drinking game for this episode.
8:30: Another mention of Tony's son: drink!
8:31: Solid speech by Chris, though.
8:32: Ed showing some man-tears.
8:33: If you're playing the drinking game, you'd be drunk by now.
8:34: Just because you need the money the most, Blakely, doesn't mean you deserve the money the most. There's a jump in logic there.
8:39: Is Nick sorta going bald, or is that just me?
8:41: I feel like they're putting Nick's interviews on the show simply because there's nobody else left.
8:50: What the hell? Glee isn't on ABC.
8:51: Brad the Glee pianist!
8:52: Why does everyone on the show keep on pronouncing the "G" in "singer"? It's driving me insane.
8:55: Motorin'!
9:10: Rachel isn't that bad.
9:12: Nick! On his knees! Who is this guy?!
9:14: This is not going well.
9:16: Some epic audience shots.
9:23: You gotta give credit to Sarah for not holding back. That's about all I'm going to give her credit for.
9:26: "Pitchy"? Who are you guys, Randy Jackson? This isn't exactly American Idol here, guys.
9:28: Again, why are there two roses with stems? Where is the man-rose?
9:30: Nick and Rachel have to pick Chris and Sarah, right? There's no way that they can pick Jaclyn and Ed, right?
9:31: The Kelly Clarkson concert I went to last week was much better than this. I'm just sayin'.
9:38: It's gotta be Chris and Sarah.
9:39: Who is this guy? Nick is totally breaking out of his shell.
9:40: For the record, I would totally sell out one of my friends that I met on a reality show for a guaranteed shot at $250,000.
9:41: As always, solid background music choice by the editors.
9:46: I love how Jaclyn thinks that choosing Sarah and Chris would reflect on how Rachel feels about her. Um, maybe the $250,000 has something to do with it. Just a wild guess.
9:48: Jaclyn is a total drama queen. Why does everything have to be about her?
9:49: Separate limos for Jaclyn and Ed.
9:52: I've had just about enough of Jaclyn.
9:53: #ChrisHarrisonShockedFace
9:54: Jamie! The FMC returns!
9:57: The finale looks interesting, to put it mildly.
10:00: One more episode to go! Motorin'!
7:57: Kalon's gone, Erica's gone, Stags is gone. Among the remaining cast members are Despondent Rachel and a possible mute. Who's going to provide the entertainment now?
8:01 Nick The Mute speaks!
8:02: Who decides on the champagne toast-giver? Why did Chris get to do it this episode? Is it because he won the spelling bee challenge last week?
8:03: Nick The Mute speaks again! Also, it seems like Nick has spent some time under the sun.
8:04: Blakely on Chris: "He is a good game-player. But he's also conniving and a liar." Isn't that what normally makes someone a good "game-player"?
8:05: Tony's breaking out the stylish beater today.
8:07: Speaking of Tony's wardrobe, Dave Jacoby of the Grantland Reality Fantasy League raised a good question during last week's episode: Why was Tony in an outfit befitting a figure skater?
8:09: Trapeze time!
8:10: Tony has unfortunate fashion choices.
8:11: Nick The Mute has a personality!
8:12: Gotta be Donna!
8:15: "Sarah's TV watching is definitely paying off."
8:18: I'd be lying if I said I'm not jealous of Sarah's Bachelor/ette/Pad knowledge.
8:23: Someone call the NRA - Rachel is putting on a gun show.
8:24: Nick is making up for lost time - he's spoken more this episode than all previous episodes.
8:25: For those counting at home, that's three mentions of Tony's son tonight, and we're only 25 minutes in. This is clearly the drinking game for this episode.
8:30: Another mention of Tony's son: drink!
8:31: Solid speech by Chris, though.
8:32: Ed showing some man-tears.
8:33: If you're playing the drinking game, you'd be drunk by now.
8:34: Just because you need the money the most, Blakely, doesn't mean you deserve the money the most. There's a jump in logic there.
8:39: Is Nick sorta going bald, or is that just me?
8:41: I feel like they're putting Nick's interviews on the show simply because there's nobody else left.
8:50: What the hell? Glee isn't on ABC.
8:51: Brad the Glee pianist!
8:52: Why does everyone on the show keep on pronouncing the "G" in "singer"? It's driving me insane.
8:55: Motorin'!
9:10: Rachel isn't that bad.
9:12: Nick! On his knees! Who is this guy?!
9:14: This is not going well.
9:16: Some epic audience shots.
9:23: You gotta give credit to Sarah for not holding back. That's about all I'm going to give her credit for.
9:26: "Pitchy"? Who are you guys, Randy Jackson? This isn't exactly American Idol here, guys.
9:28: Again, why are there two roses with stems? Where is the man-rose?
9:30: Nick and Rachel have to pick Chris and Sarah, right? There's no way that they can pick Jaclyn and Ed, right?
9:31: The Kelly Clarkson concert I went to last week was much better than this. I'm just sayin'.
9:38: It's gotta be Chris and Sarah.
9:39: Who is this guy? Nick is totally breaking out of his shell.
9:40: For the record, I would totally sell out one of my friends that I met on a reality show for a guaranteed shot at $250,000.
9:41: As always, solid background music choice by the editors.
9:46: I love how Jaclyn thinks that choosing Sarah and Chris would reflect on how Rachel feels about her. Um, maybe the $250,000 has something to do with it. Just a wild guess.
9:48: Jaclyn is a total drama queen. Why does everything have to be about her?
9:49: Separate limos for Jaclyn and Ed.
9:52: I've had just about enough of Jaclyn.
9:53: #ChrisHarrisonShockedFace
9:54: Jamie! The FMC returns!
9:57: The finale looks interesting, to put it mildly.
10:00: One more episode to go! Motorin'!
Monday, August 27, 2012
Bachelor Pad: Episode #6
Just because Michael Stagliano was sent home last week, that doesn't mean I'm done with him yet - shout out to G-Unit for informing me of his upcoming concert in Toronto. Can you think of a better place to meet single ladies than at the concert of a Bachelorette castoff? I sure can't. Anyone want to be my wing-woman? Stags is also promising hugs and pictures at every show, so I don't know how you could say no.
6:40: I was involved in a Bachelor Pad e-mail discussion today (of course) when I was asked who I thought would win this season. Kalon is who I think will win. But there's one person who would be a hilarious winner: Nick, whose speaking moments on camera you could possibly count using your hands. How awesome would it be if the winner of Bachelor Pad was the guy who never said anything?
8:01: The thought of Blakely trying to spell has me giddy.
8:04: "Nick hasn't spoken this entire time." So it's not because he just gives boring interviews. Is he a mute? Does he have a social anxiety disorder? Why doesn't he speak?
8:10: This is going to be great.
8:11: There's no need to high five after correctly spelling a 4 letter word, Jaclyn.
8:12: Kalon just Clark Kent-ed us.
8:13: The three kid judges are learning that spelling is not necessary to being famous.
8:15: I love that Chris was made to spell "philanderer".
8:17: I'm flabberghasted.
8:21: Nick speaks!
8:23: Spell-off!
8:24: I love Chris Harrison and all, but he mispronounced "soiree".
8:25: Oh Kalon, why are you so awesome?
8:26: It's not serendipity that Chris spelled serendipity correctly.
8:27: Why didn't Chris get a man-rose? Why did he get one with a stem? That's poor foresight and preparation. You don't say that very often about the production crew.
8:28: Tony is a good listener. Which is important when your partner is Blakely.
8:29: Love the yellow bus to private plane cutaway contrast. The editors on this show are the best.
8:33: I wouldn't exactly use the words "kick ass" to describe your performance in the spelling bee, Chris.
8:34: If they're in wine country, why don't they stop by Ben Flajnik's vineyard in Sonoma?
8:34: Wine country is not fit for Sarah's high heels.
8:36: Gotta give it up to Chris and Sarah for yelling "Serendipity" as they jump into the lake.
8:38: Nick speaks!
8:46: I'm surprised that Rachel doesn't have a tub of ice cream in front of her right now.
8:51: "It's going to be fun spending the night with Chris in this romantic barn." Phrases that have never been uttered in the history of the English language.
8:58: That's pretty scenic.
8:59: Look at Jaclyn trying to rationalize Ed's behaviour. It's Jamie-esque.
9:02: "I've done everything so normally." Jaclyn, you slept with the guy who is infamous for drunkenly passing out in the hot tub. There's nothing normal about that.
9:09: Tony and Blakely make sense to me. Tokely? Takely? Blanely? Blony? Bony? Bony. Definitely Bony.
9:13: "I don't want to look like a whore." "I don't want to look like an asshole." Nobody likes a one-upper, Ed.
9:15: Well, this is going to end badly, Jaclyn.
9:22: This Italian mafia music montage is pretty awesome.
9:23: "Emotional alcoholics" is a fantastic phrase, and I commend you, Kalon, for coining it.
9:28: Underrated storyline the past couple of episodes that nobody is talking about: Jaclyn overtaking Lindzi as the biggest makeup abuser in the house.
9:34: Ah, so this is why Nick never speaks.
9:49: Lindzi just did Kalon's lip pout thing.
9:52: Why are they not leaving in the same limo?
9:53: YES!
9:54: That made me happy.
9:56: The trailer for next week look amazing. This show is the best.
10:00: "I need to page my son." Classic.
6:40: I was involved in a Bachelor Pad e-mail discussion today (of course) when I was asked who I thought would win this season. Kalon is who I think will win. But there's one person who would be a hilarious winner: Nick, whose speaking moments on camera you could possibly count using your hands. How awesome would it be if the winner of Bachelor Pad was the guy who never said anything?
8:01: The thought of Blakely trying to spell has me giddy.
8:04: "Nick hasn't spoken this entire time." So it's not because he just gives boring interviews. Is he a mute? Does he have a social anxiety disorder? Why doesn't he speak?
8:10: This is going to be great.
8:11: There's no need to high five after correctly spelling a 4 letter word, Jaclyn.
8:12: Kalon just Clark Kent-ed us.
8:13: The three kid judges are learning that spelling is not necessary to being famous.
8:15: I love that Chris was made to spell "philanderer".
8:17: I'm flabberghasted.
8:21: Nick speaks!
8:23: Spell-off!
8:24: I love Chris Harrison and all, but he mispronounced "soiree".
8:25: Oh Kalon, why are you so awesome?
8:26: It's not serendipity that Chris spelled serendipity correctly.
8:27: Why didn't Chris get a man-rose? Why did he get one with a stem? That's poor foresight and preparation. You don't say that very often about the production crew.
8:28: Tony is a good listener. Which is important when your partner is Blakely.
8:29: Love the yellow bus to private plane cutaway contrast. The editors on this show are the best.
8:33: I wouldn't exactly use the words "kick ass" to describe your performance in the spelling bee, Chris.
8:34: If they're in wine country, why don't they stop by Ben Flajnik's vineyard in Sonoma?
8:34: Wine country is not fit for Sarah's high heels.
8:36: Gotta give it up to Chris and Sarah for yelling "Serendipity" as they jump into the lake.
8:38: Nick speaks!
8:46: I'm surprised that Rachel doesn't have a tub of ice cream in front of her right now.
8:51: "It's going to be fun spending the night with Chris in this romantic barn." Phrases that have never been uttered in the history of the English language.
8:58: That's pretty scenic.
8:59: Look at Jaclyn trying to rationalize Ed's behaviour. It's Jamie-esque.
9:02: "I've done everything so normally." Jaclyn, you slept with the guy who is infamous for drunkenly passing out in the hot tub. There's nothing normal about that.
9:09: Tony and Blakely make sense to me. Tokely? Takely? Blanely? Blony? Bony? Bony. Definitely Bony.
9:13: "I don't want to look like a whore." "I don't want to look like an asshole." Nobody likes a one-upper, Ed.
9:15: Well, this is going to end badly, Jaclyn.
9:22: This Italian mafia music montage is pretty awesome.
9:23: "Emotional alcoholics" is a fantastic phrase, and I commend you, Kalon, for coining it.
9:28: Underrated storyline the past couple of episodes that nobody is talking about: Jaclyn overtaking Lindzi as the biggest makeup abuser in the house.
9:34: Ah, so this is why Nick never speaks.
9:49: Lindzi just did Kalon's lip pout thing.
9:52: Why are they not leaving in the same limo?
9:53: YES!
9:54: That made me happy.
9:56: The trailer for next week look amazing. This show is the best.
10:00: "I need to page my son." Classic.
Monday, August 20, 2012
Bachelor Pad: Episode #5
Chris Harrison is Tweeting ominous things about tonight's episode, which is always a good sign. Former FMC and Bachelor cast-off Ashley Spivey is also Tweeting about tonight being crazy. Since it's theoretically impossible for both Chris Harrison and an FMC to lie about the same thing, I have no choice but to assume that the following two hours of television will be epic. And just in case there's any doubt, former Bachelor Pad winner Natalie Getz is also saying the same things about what happens tonight. And yes, I know that's a disturbing amount of research to do for a reality show. Regardless, I expect nothing short of three fights, people coming close to blows, personal insults, and bucket loads of tears, and perhaps even some man-tears.
7:45: The next 15 minutes are going to feel like they're taking forever to get by.
8:00: Yes!
8:02: What? A VIP cocktail waitress turned bikini waxer could use the prize money? No way!
8:03: I kinda like Cranky Chris.
8:05: Kalon's smarmy attitude is pretty entertaining, you have to admit.
8:06: Kalon to Chris: "That's how he got Emily." Shots fired!
8:10: If you recall from this past season of The Bachlorette, Chris also called out Doug for, essentially, disrespecting him because he thought he was talking down to him. Now he wants Ed to talk to him "like a grown ass man". How come Chris has been on two different reality shows, and has somehow argued with the two nicest guys on both shows about how he is talked to? It's interesting to note that it's always the other guy's fault.
8:13: Cranky Chris has turned into Mopey Chris.
8:14: Any challenge where being a Hooters waitress gives you an advantage is probably a bad idea. Just sayin'.
8:16: Wait a second - Hooters has a VIP area?
8:17: Erica. So awesome.
8:18: I'd like to see the list of challenges where Erica would have an advantage.
8:19: I'm upset that they're not cutting to Chris doing fist pumps every time Blakely drops the cups.
8:21: A woman's history working as a Hooters waitress is becoming a point of contention on this show. Name me another show on television where this is even remotely possible.
8:26: 26 minutes into tonight's episode is the first time I've seen Nick on screen.
8:35: I enjoy Happy Lindzi.
8:36: Promotional consideration provided by Neil Lane.
8:37: Anyone want to bet me that Tony won't pull out the stop sign on his overnight date with Blakely? I'll even give you 2-1 odds on a Blakely sex denial.
8:40: I wonder if I'm going to know someone who knows someone who knows someone who will be on The Bachelor Canada.
8:43: Let's be quite honest. They were driving through the ghetto.
8:44: Zombie talk on a romantic date. Um...OK.
8:45: The softer side of Kalon.
8:46: 3 words: Legs wrapped around.
8:48: Somehow Kalon has become the hero and Chris the villain. This show is awesome.
8:51: Tony has drank some Blakely Kool-Aid.
8:52: "Kalon, are these helicopter keys?"
8:54: But what about your kid, Tony? WHAT ABOUT YOUR KID???
8:58: Lindzi legs wrapped around count: 2.
9:03: Blakely's definition of "reserved" includes her talking for a full minute, uninterrupted.
9:04: Stags For The Win.
9:05: Holly name drop.
9:06: Quotes from Rachel's interview: "spend the night", "take the next step", and "having those feelings". Someone wants to make some babies tonight.
9:08: Tony tongue sighting.
9:09: Fantastic editing by the production staff as always. Especially the cutaway from all the couples to passed out Ed.
9:10: Looks like Rachel got to make some babies after all.
9:12: Nick speaks!
9:17: Looks like it's about to get gooooooood.
9:21: Chris Harrison got a haircut.
9:22: Ed. Wow.
9:27: "We need to have that conversation, I guess." Ya think, Ed?!
9:28: Tears. Oh, the tears.
9:29: Great background music choice for the Ed/Jaclyn exchange. The production staff on this show is second to none.
9:39: I was just thinking that Chris should bring Erica into the deliberation room with her. This is effing genius.
9:43: I just realized that I called something that I would have done a genius move.
9:44: It's about to get really good.
9:46: And do you know why Erica will have justice? Because she has a gavel. Obviously.
9:49: Bombshell dropped. Do not mess with Erica Rose.
9:50: Holly reference. Shots fired. Oh my. Oh my. Oh my. Oh my.
9:53: This show is the best.
9:55: That Erica Rose diatribe was one for the ages. Wow. Still can't believe that actually happened.
9:58: Tonight might have been the greatest episode in the history of Bachelor Pad.
7:45: The next 15 minutes are going to feel like they're taking forever to get by.
8:00: Yes!
8:02: What? A VIP cocktail waitress turned bikini waxer could use the prize money? No way!
8:03: I kinda like Cranky Chris.
8:05: Kalon's smarmy attitude is pretty entertaining, you have to admit.
8:06: Kalon to Chris: "That's how he got Emily." Shots fired!
8:10: If you recall from this past season of The Bachlorette, Chris also called out Doug for, essentially, disrespecting him because he thought he was talking down to him. Now he wants Ed to talk to him "like a grown ass man". How come Chris has been on two different reality shows, and has somehow argued with the two nicest guys on both shows about how he is talked to? It's interesting to note that it's always the other guy's fault.
8:13: Cranky Chris has turned into Mopey Chris.
8:14: Any challenge where being a Hooters waitress gives you an advantage is probably a bad idea. Just sayin'.
8:16: Wait a second - Hooters has a VIP area?
8:17: Erica. So awesome.
8:18: I'd like to see the list of challenges where Erica would have an advantage.
8:19: I'm upset that they're not cutting to Chris doing fist pumps every time Blakely drops the cups.
8:21: A woman's history working as a Hooters waitress is becoming a point of contention on this show. Name me another show on television where this is even remotely possible.
8:26: 26 minutes into tonight's episode is the first time I've seen Nick on screen.
8:35: I enjoy Happy Lindzi.
8:36: Promotional consideration provided by Neil Lane.
8:37: Anyone want to bet me that Tony won't pull out the stop sign on his overnight date with Blakely? I'll even give you 2-1 odds on a Blakely sex denial.
8:40: I wonder if I'm going to know someone who knows someone who knows someone who will be on The Bachelor Canada.
8:43: Let's be quite honest. They were driving through the ghetto.
8:44: Zombie talk on a romantic date. Um...OK.
8:45: The softer side of Kalon.
8:46: 3 words: Legs wrapped around.
8:48: Somehow Kalon has become the hero and Chris the villain. This show is awesome.
8:51: Tony has drank some Blakely Kool-Aid.
8:52: "Kalon, are these helicopter keys?"
8:54: But what about your kid, Tony? WHAT ABOUT YOUR KID???
8:58: Lindzi legs wrapped around count: 2.
9:03: Blakely's definition of "reserved" includes her talking for a full minute, uninterrupted.
9:04: Stags For The Win.
9:05: Holly name drop.
9:06: Quotes from Rachel's interview: "spend the night", "take the next step", and "having those feelings". Someone wants to make some babies tonight.
9:08: Tony tongue sighting.
9:09: Fantastic editing by the production staff as always. Especially the cutaway from all the couples to passed out Ed.
9:10: Looks like Rachel got to make some babies after all.
9:12: Nick speaks!
9:17: Looks like it's about to get gooooooood.
9:21: Chris Harrison got a haircut.
9:22: Ed. Wow.
9:27: "We need to have that conversation, I guess." Ya think, Ed?!
9:28: Tears. Oh, the tears.
9:29: Great background music choice for the Ed/Jaclyn exchange. The production staff on this show is second to none.
9:39: I was just thinking that Chris should bring Erica into the deliberation room with her. This is effing genius.
9:43: I just realized that I called something that I would have done a genius move.
9:44: It's about to get really good.
9:46: And do you know why Erica will have justice? Because she has a gavel. Obviously.
9:49: Bombshell dropped. Do not mess with Erica Rose.
9:50: Holly reference. Shots fired. Oh my. Oh my. Oh my. Oh my.
9:53: This show is the best.
9:55: That Erica Rose diatribe was one for the ages. Wow. Still can't believe that actually happened.
9:58: Tonight might have been the greatest episode in the history of Bachelor Pad.
Monday, August 13, 2012
Bachelor Pad: Episode #4
Courtesy of Grantland Reality TV Czar Dave Jacoby, I pass along the great gift that is the Michael Stagliano power ballad music video. Yes, this absolutely happened. Shockingly, it's pretty good, given the low expectations that have been set by previous reality TV stars who tried to start a music career, with undeniably disastrous results.
7:59: I'm very excited for tonight.
8:07: FMC Jamie says she feels like she can't turn to anyone in the house. As far as I'm concerned, that's her way of saying she wishes I was on the show with her. Clearly.
8:10: These "truth" challenges are always brutal. Sh!t gets real.
8:12: It's not Kalon?!
8:13: "I'm so misunderstood." Kalon is slowly winning me over.
8:15: "Sexy thoughts" for the win.
8:24: Oh Jamie.
8:27: Maybe I'm blinded by her FMC-ness, but I feel bad for Jamie and don't think she's done anything wrong besides being a bit naive.
8:32: I love that there's a fight over Ed, the naked drunk guy.
8:34: Chavez Ravine! Best date ever.
8:35: "Who doesn't have a crush on Ed?" Does this include man-crushes, because I'm guilty if that's true.
8:36: Only on this show could a guy who gets drunk, ends up naked in the hot tub, and sleeps with different women on consecutive nights, be the basis of a "Who doesn't have a crush on Ed?" rhetorical question.
8:42: How many times do people in the confessional use the word "everyone" to project their feelings on one person? "Everyone is annoyed with Blakely." "Jamie has hit on every guy."
8:45: Oh Jamie. My god.
8:46: Ed has the same reaction to fireworks at Dodger Stadium as drunken sex.
8:48: Jamie likes to talk. I would listen.
8:49: I wonder if Jamie would think I'm "surprisingly wonderful"...
8:53: Well done, Chris. Well done.
8:55: I still can't believe he did that. Chris is like a superhero villain.
8:56: Oh Jamie. Ooooh Jamie. This is what we call "rationalizing".
8:57: By the way, Jamie's going home tonight. I'm calling it right now.
9:13: Love the porn music starting up when Sarah jumped on Chris' lap in the pool.
9:15: Let's make one thing clear. Blakely didn't "get over" Chris. Blakely got rejected, and had no other choice but to move on.
9:17: Oh no, Jamie. Oh no.
9:19: Jamie is like the car wreck that you can't help but stare at as you drive by.
9:23: Is there any way that David and Jamie aren't going home tonight?
9:26: Gotta give Dave credit for finding the Nick soft spot. He's learned a lot from the first day. Mad respect.
9:27: Nick speaks!
9:31: Why didn't Jamie hook up with Nick instead? He seems like a nice guy and he's pretty good looking. Actually, why hasn't any of the girls hooked up with him? Is it because he also never speaks in the house just like on the show?
9:41: Kalon is absolutely killing it on this show. He's effing brilliant.
9:47: As I said, is there any way that David and Jamie aren't going home tonight?
9:49: The Jamie goodbyes will be interesting.
9:50: Hell hath no fury like a Blakely scorned.
9:51: Jamie tears time. I'm calling it. Once more, for old time's sake.
9:52: David tears instead! Swerve!
9:53: You can trust 'ol Channy, Jamie.
9:54: I love that Blakely is leading the toast.
9:55: Next week looks epic.
9:56: I think it's safe to say that I'm a huge fan of this show, but even I would never say that being on the show was the greatest four weeks of my life like Dave did in the limo. Like, c'mon dude. That's just a silly statement.
9:59: Are people going to watch Bachelor Canada? Or is that going to be a poor man's version of the American version that nobody watches, like Canadian Idol?
10:00: Stags is a breakout musical star!
7:59: I'm very excited for tonight.
8:07: FMC Jamie says she feels like she can't turn to anyone in the house. As far as I'm concerned, that's her way of saying she wishes I was on the show with her. Clearly.
8:10: These "truth" challenges are always brutal. Sh!t gets real.
8:12: It's not Kalon?!
8:13: "I'm so misunderstood." Kalon is slowly winning me over.
8:15: "Sexy thoughts" for the win.
8:24: Oh Jamie.
8:27: Maybe I'm blinded by her FMC-ness, but I feel bad for Jamie and don't think she's done anything wrong besides being a bit naive.
8:32: I love that there's a fight over Ed, the naked drunk guy.
8:34: Chavez Ravine! Best date ever.
8:35: "Who doesn't have a crush on Ed?" Does this include man-crushes, because I'm guilty if that's true.
8:36: Only on this show could a guy who gets drunk, ends up naked in the hot tub, and sleeps with different women on consecutive nights, be the basis of a "Who doesn't have a crush on Ed?" rhetorical question.
8:42: How many times do people in the confessional use the word "everyone" to project their feelings on one person? "Everyone is annoyed with Blakely." "Jamie has hit on every guy."
8:45: Oh Jamie. My god.
8:46: Ed has the same reaction to fireworks at Dodger Stadium as drunken sex.
8:48: Jamie likes to talk. I would listen.
8:49: I wonder if Jamie would think I'm "surprisingly wonderful"...
8:53: Well done, Chris. Well done.
8:55: I still can't believe he did that. Chris is like a superhero villain.
8:56: Oh Jamie. Ooooh Jamie. This is what we call "rationalizing".
8:57: By the way, Jamie's going home tonight. I'm calling it right now.
9:13: Love the porn music starting up when Sarah jumped on Chris' lap in the pool.
9:15: Let's make one thing clear. Blakely didn't "get over" Chris. Blakely got rejected, and had no other choice but to move on.
9:17: Oh no, Jamie. Oh no.
9:19: Jamie is like the car wreck that you can't help but stare at as you drive by.
9:23: Is there any way that David and Jamie aren't going home tonight?
9:26: Gotta give Dave credit for finding the Nick soft spot. He's learned a lot from the first day. Mad respect.
9:27: Nick speaks!
9:31: Why didn't Jamie hook up with Nick instead? He seems like a nice guy and he's pretty good looking. Actually, why hasn't any of the girls hooked up with him? Is it because he also never speaks in the house just like on the show?
9:41: Kalon is absolutely killing it on this show. He's effing brilliant.
9:47: As I said, is there any way that David and Jamie aren't going home tonight?
9:49: The Jamie goodbyes will be interesting.
9:50: Hell hath no fury like a Blakely scorned.
9:51: Jamie tears time. I'm calling it. Once more, for old time's sake.
9:52: David tears instead! Swerve!
9:53: You can trust 'ol Channy, Jamie.
9:54: I love that Blakely is leading the toast.
9:55: Next week looks epic.
9:56: I think it's safe to say that I'm a huge fan of this show, but even I would never say that being on the show was the greatest four weeks of my life like Dave did in the limo. Like, c'mon dude. That's just a silly statement.
9:59: Are people going to watch Bachelor Canada? Or is that going to be a poor man's version of the American version that nobody watches, like Canadian Idol?
10:00: Stags is a breakout musical star!
Monday, August 06, 2012
Bachelor Pad: Episode #3
I just watched the magnificent yet controversial Canada-USA Olympic women's semifinal soccer game, and three thoughts lingered with me:
1) What an amazing game.
2) The ref was absolutely horrific.
3) There is an FMC on the Canadian women's soccer team. My goodness, is there ever an FMC on the team.
Every time #10 entered my television screen, I swooned. This was one of the rare times that I regretted not having HD channels. But you know what would be crystal clear? A Google search, which led me to officially nominate Lauren Sesselmann as an FMC. Oh, I'm sorry, that's just her Canadian Soccer Association bio. I wonder what her Twitter picture looks like. Double swoon. And let's not pretend like I didn't do a Google image search for her...
On that note, I'm revved up for tonight's Bachelor Pad. And Lauren Sesselmann has set the tone for what an FMC should be. Jamie, it's time for you to step up your game. No more pining for Chris. You're so much better than that.
7:12: Triple swoon. OK, I swear. That's it. No more LaurenChan Sesselmann talk for the rest of the night. Let's focus on what's important - watching the glorious television that is Bachelor Pad.
8:00: Obstacle course!
8:04: Ed just wants to party.
8:06: Jamie! I'd be lying if I said I didn't still swoon for her.
8:10: This challenge makes me hungry.
8:11: Tremendous use of the word "nutsack".
8:12: Jamie, you are not "stuck" with Ed. You get the privilege of being on Ed's team.
8:13: Oh Kalon.
8:14: Is anyone else giggling every time they say "nutsack"?
8:15: OK, Jamie. Maybe you had a point.
8:25: Blakely and Jamie on the same date? Yes, please.
8:30: I want to know why Jamie didn't go to prom.
8:31: Did Blakely really just call Jamie stupid? So just to be clear, the former VIP cocktail waitress questioned someone else's intelligence. OK then.
8:39: Jamie, I could learn to love country music.
8:42: Ed having sex is way more entertaining than it should be.
8:45: JAMIE!!!
8:46: It's nice that Jamie is the prom queen.
8:47: Great job as always by the editing staff, this time with the cutaways between the music, Jamie and David dancing, and the Blakely/Erica conversation in the car. It's the little things that make this show fantastic.
8:52: Totally forgot that Nick was still on this show.
8:53: Tony - "I think I deserve this rose because I'm playing for my son." This makes no sense. Is your son also Rachel's son? No.
8:55: Chris Harrison deserves an Emmy.
8:57: Jamie is a tragic figure.
8:58: Jamie makes my heart hurt.
9:06: I enjoyed the completely unnecessary pause and music buildup to Stags getting the rose, like there was actual drama.
9:07: I'm still confused as to why Tony thinks he deserved the rose tonight.
9:17: Reid is not a very good liar.
9:26: If Blakely isn't going home tonight, then who is?
9:29: I dub thee Nick and Donna, Nonna. Better than the alternative, right?
9:31: It does not surprise me that Kalon enjoys being the puppet master.
9:35: I love that Reid says that "they" have hard feelings over Jillian. By "they", I'm pretty sure he means him. I don't think Ed holds any hard feelings over Jillian since, ya know, Jillian chose him over Reid.
9:37: Why does Reid always have that smirk on his face?
9:43: If Sarah sends Ed home, it'll be because she's upset that Ed hooked up with Jaclyn after hooking up with her, not because "Reid is a strong leader". Like, c'mon. What kind of ridiculous rationale is that? "I came on Bachelor Pad so I could follow a strong leader." Please.
9:47: Blakely, that implies you're not already a trainwreck.
9:49: Tony deserved that rose because he has a son.
9:50: I like that David is congratulating each of the women when giving out the rose. You can tell he's enjoying just being on the show.
9:51: I look forward to the Ed/Reid farewell exchange.
9:53: Nonna was so short-lived.
9:55: From next week's preview, I'm liking this Axis of Evil between Kalon and Chris.
9:57: Not only did I watch and live blog Bachelor Pad over the last two hours, I also successfully executed a trade in one of my fantasy baseball leagues during the commercial breaks. Multi-tasking at its finest.
10:00: Wasn't there a rat issue last season as well?
1) What an amazing game.
2) The ref was absolutely horrific.
3) There is an FMC on the Canadian women's soccer team. My goodness, is there ever an FMC on the team.
Every time #10 entered my television screen, I swooned. This was one of the rare times that I regretted not having HD channels. But you know what would be crystal clear? A Google search, which led me to officially nominate Lauren Sesselmann as an FMC. Oh, I'm sorry, that's just her Canadian Soccer Association bio. I wonder what her Twitter picture looks like. Double swoon. And let's not pretend like I didn't do a Google image search for her...
On that note, I'm revved up for tonight's Bachelor Pad. And Lauren Sesselmann has set the tone for what an FMC should be. Jamie, it's time for you to step up your game. No more pining for Chris. You're so much better than that.
7:12: Triple swoon. OK, I swear. That's it. No more Lauren
8:00: Obstacle course!
8:04: Ed just wants to party.
8:06: Jamie! I'd be lying if I said I didn't still swoon for her.
8:10: This challenge makes me hungry.
8:11: Tremendous use of the word "nutsack".
8:12: Jamie, you are not "stuck" with Ed. You get the privilege of being on Ed's team.
8:13: Oh Kalon.
8:14: Is anyone else giggling every time they say "nutsack"?
8:15: OK, Jamie. Maybe you had a point.
8:25: Blakely and Jamie on the same date? Yes, please.
8:30: I want to know why Jamie didn't go to prom.
8:31: Did Blakely really just call Jamie stupid? So just to be clear, the former VIP cocktail waitress questioned someone else's intelligence. OK then.
8:39: Jamie, I could learn to love country music.
8:42: Ed having sex is way more entertaining than it should be.
8:45: JAMIE!!!
8:46: It's nice that Jamie is the prom queen.
8:47: Great job as always by the editing staff, this time with the cutaways between the music, Jamie and David dancing, and the Blakely/Erica conversation in the car. It's the little things that make this show fantastic.
8:52: Totally forgot that Nick was still on this show.
8:53: Tony - "I think I deserve this rose because I'm playing for my son." This makes no sense. Is your son also Rachel's son? No.
8:55: Chris Harrison deserves an Emmy.
8:57: Jamie is a tragic figure.
8:58: Jamie makes my heart hurt.
9:06: I enjoyed the completely unnecessary pause and music buildup to Stags getting the rose, like there was actual drama.
9:07: I'm still confused as to why Tony thinks he deserved the rose tonight.
9:17: Reid is not a very good liar.
9:26: If Blakely isn't going home tonight, then who is?
9:29: I dub thee Nick and Donna, Nonna. Better than the alternative, right?
9:31: It does not surprise me that Kalon enjoys being the puppet master.
9:35: I love that Reid says that "they" have hard feelings over Jillian. By "they", I'm pretty sure he means him. I don't think Ed holds any hard feelings over Jillian since, ya know, Jillian chose him over Reid.
9:37: Why does Reid always have that smirk on his face?
9:43: If Sarah sends Ed home, it'll be because she's upset that Ed hooked up with Jaclyn after hooking up with her, not because "Reid is a strong leader". Like, c'mon. What kind of ridiculous rationale is that? "I came on Bachelor Pad so I could follow a strong leader." Please.
9:47: Blakely, that implies you're not already a trainwreck.
9:49: Tony deserved that rose because he has a son.
9:50: I like that David is congratulating each of the women when giving out the rose. You can tell he's enjoying just being on the show.
9:51: I look forward to the Ed/Reid farewell exchange.
9:53: Nonna was so short-lived.
9:55: From next week's preview, I'm liking this Axis of Evil between Kalon and Chris.
9:57: Not only did I watch and live blog Bachelor Pad over the last two hours, I also successfully executed a trade in one of my fantasy baseball leagues during the commercial breaks. Multi-tasking at its finest.
10:00: Wasn't there a rat issue last season as well?
Monday, July 30, 2012
Bachelor Pad: Episode #2
I'm starting to incorporate sayings from The Bachelor franchise into my everyday use. For example, I channelled my inner Chris today at work by sending out an e-mail that simply said, "On a scale of 1 to Compelling, where would this be?" I'm not even joking.
Speaking of Chris, I look forward to Quietly Full Of Rage Chris unleashing Getting My Mack On Chris upon the Bachelor Pad house. And if that leaves FMC Jamie upsetand ready to run into my waiting arms, so be it.
8:01: Did I see girls making out? Yes, yes I did.
8:02: Twins. Annoying.
8:03: This is the first time that I've been upset with the Bachelor/ette/Pad producers. Whoever was involved with the decision to cast the twins really needs to get a stern talking to.
8:06: Erica Rose doing gymnastics? Yes, I would like some of that, please.
8:16: Leotards for men = Mantards?
8:20: Did the producers choose JP and Ashley because there were no girls on Bachelor Pad from Brad's season of The Bachelor with Ashley and they didn't want biased judges? Because that would be kind of amazing.
8:24: Respect The Worm.
8:27: Michael is pretty awesome.
8:32: Why is Jamie still in her leotard while talking to Donna?
8:34: Does Erica Rose really think that the twins aren't going home tonight?
8:35: Jamie in a bikini. Swoon.
8:44: Jamie, not a drinker.
8:45: Oh no, Ryan. Oh no.
8:46: Bring home to the family? Have kids? You made out with Chris once, Jamie. Let's slow it down just a bit.
8:47: Yes, Michael. You're doing something for Donna. You're making out with a hot chick for her sake. You do not get any benefit at all from this. Not at all.
8:49: Oh Jamie. So naive.
8:50: Donna has what the Macho Man calls "jealous eyes".
8:51: "I have to solidify the alliance." If that's what you want to call it...
8:52: Seeing someone you have feelings for hookup with someone else in front of you would kinda suck. But to do it on your birthday brings it to a whole new level of suckiness.
8:54: It's tough to see the FMC so upset.
8:56: Chris, Manwhore.
8:59: Why isn't Chris Harrison hosting the soapbox derby? Why is it this old dude? This is upsetting.
9:00: David say, "I think my plan is working." Was your plan to completely botch the vote last week, followed by being invited on a group date out of pity? Because if that's the case, then yes, your plan is working.
9:02: Really? Chris Harrison couldn't have done the 20 seconds of play-by-play announcing? They had to bring in someone else to do it?
9:03: That's an impressive trophy. And he pulls a Stanley Cup by drinking out of it? Ed is all kinds of awesome.
9:11: Oh Blakely, I see what you did there.
9:16: Ed and the trophy is awesome.
9:17: Pickle! Yeah buddy!
9:18: God bless America indeed.
9:19: Calling the twins a train wreck is unfair to train wrecks.
9:21: You know it's bad when Erica Rose is rightfully saying that you're being overly dramatic.
9:26: The twins actually remind me of someone I know. It is not at all enjoyable to be in her presence. I can't imagine what it's like to be around two of them.
9:30: The twins are the worst casting decision in the history of the Bachelor franchise.
9:36: I'm digging Jamie's black gloves.
9:39: Reid, still bitter about Jillian.
9:40: Erica used the gavel. Amazing.
9:42: Sarah has baggage. There's no other reason to explain how a girl could hook up with a guy, vote for him to leave the next day, then be upset once she realized that she voted for the guy she enjoyed spending time with. Baggage. There's no other explanation. Probably something about how she pushes away people she cares for so she doesn't have a chance to be hurt by them because she's been hurt in the past. By the way, my shrink sessions come free of charge.
9:43: Ed cannot believe that his future will be dictated by Jamie. For the record, I would like Jamie to dictate my future.
9:50: I'm still confused by this whole Kalzi situation.
9:51: If we're robbed of more Ed this season because of Sarah being an emotional baggage-carrying mess, I'm going to be upset.
9:52: More proof that Jamie is awesome.
9:53: Why is Reid leading the toast?
10:00: I can't tell if the girls teaching gymnastics are 12, 18, or 24 years old. All are equally plausible.
Speaking of Chris, I look forward to Quietly Full Of Rage Chris unleashing Getting My Mack On Chris upon the Bachelor Pad house. And if that leaves FMC Jamie upset
8:01: Did I see girls making out? Yes, yes I did.
8:02: Twins. Annoying.
8:03: This is the first time that I've been upset with the Bachelor/ette/Pad producers. Whoever was involved with the decision to cast the twins really needs to get a stern talking to.
8:06: Erica Rose doing gymnastics? Yes, I would like some of that, please.
8:16: Leotards for men = Mantards?
8:20: Did the producers choose JP and Ashley because there were no girls on Bachelor Pad from Brad's season of The Bachelor with Ashley and they didn't want biased judges? Because that would be kind of amazing.
8:24: Respect The Worm.
8:27: Michael is pretty awesome.
8:32: Why is Jamie still in her leotard while talking to Donna?
8:34: Does Erica Rose really think that the twins aren't going home tonight?
8:35: Jamie in a bikini. Swoon.
8:44: Jamie, not a drinker.
8:45: Oh no, Ryan. Oh no.
8:46: Bring home to the family? Have kids? You made out with Chris once, Jamie. Let's slow it down just a bit.
8:47: Yes, Michael. You're doing something for Donna. You're making out with a hot chick for her sake. You do not get any benefit at all from this. Not at all.
8:49: Oh Jamie. So naive.
8:50: Donna has what the Macho Man calls "jealous eyes".
8:51: "I have to solidify the alliance." If that's what you want to call it...
8:52: Seeing someone you have feelings for hookup with someone else in front of you would kinda suck. But to do it on your birthday brings it to a whole new level of suckiness.
8:54: It's tough to see the FMC so upset.
8:56: Chris, Manwhore.
8:59: Why isn't Chris Harrison hosting the soapbox derby? Why is it this old dude? This is upsetting.
9:00: David say, "I think my plan is working." Was your plan to completely botch the vote last week, followed by being invited on a group date out of pity? Because if that's the case, then yes, your plan is working.
9:02: Really? Chris Harrison couldn't have done the 20 seconds of play-by-play announcing? They had to bring in someone else to do it?
9:03: That's an impressive trophy. And he pulls a Stanley Cup by drinking out of it? Ed is all kinds of awesome.
9:11: Oh Blakely, I see what you did there.
9:16: Ed and the trophy is awesome.
9:17: Pickle! Yeah buddy!
9:18: God bless America indeed.
9:19: Calling the twins a train wreck is unfair to train wrecks.
9:21: You know it's bad when Erica Rose is rightfully saying that you're being overly dramatic.
9:26: The twins actually remind me of someone I know. It is not at all enjoyable to be in her presence. I can't imagine what it's like to be around two of them.
9:30: The twins are the worst casting decision in the history of the Bachelor franchise.
9:36: I'm digging Jamie's black gloves.
9:39: Reid, still bitter about Jillian.
9:40: Erica used the gavel. Amazing.
9:42: Sarah has baggage. There's no other reason to explain how a girl could hook up with a guy, vote for him to leave the next day, then be upset once she realized that she voted for the guy she enjoyed spending time with. Baggage. There's no other explanation. Probably something about how she pushes away people she cares for so she doesn't have a chance to be hurt by them because she's been hurt in the past. By the way, my shrink sessions come free of charge.
9:43: Ed cannot believe that his future will be dictated by Jamie. For the record, I would like Jamie to dictate my future.
9:50: I'm still confused by this whole Kalzi situation.
9:51: If we're robbed of more Ed this season because of Sarah being an emotional baggage-carrying mess, I'm going to be upset.
9:52: More proof that Jamie is awesome.
9:53: Why is Reid leading the toast?
10:00: I can't tell if the girls teaching gymnastics are 12, 18, or 24 years old. All are equally plausible.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Bachelor Pad: Season Premiere
True story: I was staying late at work today, and was thinking of staying right until 7:45 because of the amount of work I had to do. At precisely 7:05, my computer initiated a software update. There was no "Cancel" button. I had no choice but to go home. It was like my computer was telling me that I couldn't risk missing even a minute of the Bachelor Pad premiere.
7:54: I'm really excited for Bachelor Pad tonight. You know what else I'm excited for? Mariah Carey hosting American Idol, that's what. I have no choice but to make a triumphant return to watching that show after a five year hiatus in 2013. The only question is who will gain the next coveted title of American Idol FMC, following in the glorious footsteps of Kristy Lee Cook and the immortal Kellie Pickler. And no, I don't have a type, I don't know what you're talking about.
7:56: Speaking of Idol, would it shock you that I'm going to the
7:58: Crap, I haven't finished eating dinner yet. This is going to be multi-tasking at its finest.
8:00: Yes! So excited! They just jump right into it - I love it.
8:02: Chris Harrison, you don't need to introduce yourself. We know who you are. Sorry, but that's tradition.
8:04: How is Lindzi wearing EVEN MORE makeup this season?!
8:06: I love that Reid and Ed are rivals and are on the show. Nice job by casting.
8:07: Yes! "Frienemies"!
8:09: "Helicopter fuel is expensive." Classic.
8:12: I love that Chris Harrison just referred to the cast members as "stars". That's just a wee bit of exaggeration, and I'm someone who loves this show.
8:13: "I have a secret. I love to watch The Bachelor and The Bachelorette." Well, it's only a secret if you make it a secret, dude. I watch those shows, yet it's somehow not a secret for me. Are you a little ashamed there, SWAT boy? If you watch these shows, you gotta just own it.
8:14: Well, hello there, Donna. I love that they went slo-mo for his montage.
8:15: "I like Blakely, of course." Yes, of course...
8:16: Twinning!
8:23: I just want to point out that everybody greets Chris Harrison like he's their best friend. Again, best host ever. He can do no wrong.
8:26: Ed is a bit of a jackass.
8:28: Blakely's ABC bio says she's 28. I wasn't aware that the website was set up 6 years ago.
8:32: Jamie. Swoon.
8:34: I love that Kalon and Erica Rose are in the same social circle. Is anyone shocked by this?
8:35: Kalon, you do not treat Chris Harrison as the valet. How dare you.
8:38: There's a 50/50 chance that Donna has butt implants.
8:41: I'm calling them the squinting twins.
8:48: Even Chris Harrison doesn't know how to react to naked Ed.
8:49: What the hell is Ed doing?
8:52: Ed is amazing.
8:53: Where's the heeeeat?
8:57: I enjoy casual plaid Chris Harrison.
9:00: Yes, Lindzi, we remember from Ben's season that you're afraid of heights.
9:04: Man, those twins are annoying.
9:09: An hour and ten minutes into the premiere, and we've already seen four people blurcled.
9:12: Can I also "talk" to Jamie?
9:13: The first tears of the season, an hour and 13 minutes into the premiere. This show is the best.
9:19: Dave forgot to pack sunscreen.
9:21: Dave is not exactly a master strategist.
9:38: I'm a fan of Reid and Paige, or as I like to call them, Rage. Too bad Paige is going home.
9:42: Kalon the villian!
9:48: I'm not accustomed to seeing sober Ed.
9:49: Jamie!
9:50: I like that the guys kept Donna around just because she's hot.
9:52: Dave is a total idiot.
9:53: You're right, SWAT. It was very cool that you got a picture with Chris Harrison.
9:55: Bachelor Pad, how did I go a whole year without you?
10:00: Chris Harrison taking Kalon's car for a spin was unbelievably awesome.
10:01: This season looks epic.
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