Monday, January 21, 2013

The Bachelor: Episode #3

Forget about The Bachelor for a second.  We have much more important things to discuss: a Chris Harrison clothing line!  I would absolutely spend money on this.  Is the line going to be all suits, dress shirts, and fancy watches?  Or do we get a Casual Chris on Bachelor Pad line with fancy watches as well?  How about an Awards Show Chris line with fancy watches?  Or is it just a line of fancy watches?  No seriously, watches are his thing, as G-Unit and I have discussed extensively over our years of watching the show.  Are there also roses prominently involved with the design of the clothing?  Like ties with little roses on them?  I think I would easily spend hundreds of dollars on the Chris Harrison clothing line.

7:48: Any time that Chris Harrison is on the show tonight, I bet you'll be looking for a shot of his watch.  Some of you might even rewind and slo-mo your PVR to catch a glimpse of it.  I will not judge you if you do so.

7:50: I was so obsessed preoccupied with the Chris Harrison clothing line that I forgot tonight is the night where someone (Tierra I assume) is carried out on a stretcher, followed by the infamous "They got what they want.  I hope they're happy!" quote.  This should be interesting.

7:55: ABC's website that tonight, FMC Lesley and Sean will attempt to break the world record for longest kiss.  Which means Lesley will be getting a lot of screen time since she's getting a 1-on-1 date. Which makes me happy.

8:01: It looks like the group date is going to be beach volleyball.  A bunch of women in bikinis.  FYI - I might be blogging less during that time.

8:02: Obligatory shot of Sean shirtless.  That remains the drinking game.

8:03: Episode 3 is our first mention of "taking the relationship to the next level".  That's pretty early.

8:04: We were robbed of Lesley meeting Sean tonight for their date.  Which means they're just cutting time to make room for drama later on this episode.

8:06: Don't tell me that you're not distracted by Chris Harrison's watch.

8:11: Ah, no wonder they had to cut the intro out.  All the time is going to be spent on the kiss.  Are they going to show the whole thing?

8:12: Sean is not using any of the techniques that Arie taught him during the premiere.

8:14: Meanwhile, Lesley is all about the hands.  She is all about the hand stroking the head.

8:15: Oh yeah, they're showing the whole thing.

8:16: I really hope that Lesley doesn't insist on putting that plaque on a wall in our house after we get married.

8:22: There were no nerds like Lesley in my high school.  I was robbed!

8:23: Lesley's nervousness can be seen by how she can't even look him in the eye.

8:24: Sean can't use any of Arie's techniques if his hand is holding a champagne glass...

8:25: Lindsay needs to work on her raising the roof technique.

8:28: I want to reiterate that there is going to be a very high ogling to typing ratio during the beach volleyball game.

8:33: This outfit better be part of the Chris Harrison collection.

8:34: Look at that watch!

8:39: Really, Kristy?  Tears over losing the second half of the date?

8:40: I cannot fathom how two girls are crying because they didn't get to share a group date with Sean with 5 other women.

8:44: Dez is back!

8:46: Sean is saying he's surprised by this other side of Lindsay.  The other side, of course, is the non-drunk side.

8:49: Faking the date card.  Wow, Tierra.  If I was Selma, I would not be impressed right now.  One second, you think you have a date.  Oh no.  It's just Tierra playing with your emotions.

8:51: I love how Needy Kacie (NK) thinks she some kind of strategic genius by doing this.

8:53: Oh, this is not going well for NK.

8:58: NK, you are not some kind of reality show tactical genius.  You are not Richard Hatch.  You are not Boston Rob.  You are not not a member of Chilltown.  So stop thinking you are.

9:04: It's interesting that Tierra fell down right before Sean got there, eh?

9:14: Random tangent - when I heard "mitochondrial disease", my first thought was Rocco Baldelli.  I just proved that one can be a baseball geek while watching The Bachelor.

9:17: I have never heard of love the Eli Young Band!

9:25: It got a little dusty in my place during AshLee's story...

9:34: "Here's your job today: fly to Colorado, pick up a dog, and fly back with it."

9:40: Locks tonight for getting a rose - OAS, Dez, Tierra, Kristy, and Robyn.

9:46: Once you are in the FriendZone, you cannot get out of the FriendZone.

9:49: For the record, my prediction of Kristy is based solely on the fact that she's a model.

9:50: Sean's sending the model home?  I can't believe it.

9:53: Rankings at this point for most likely to win:

1) Dez
2) Lesley
3) AshLee
4) Lindsay
5) Selma

Agree or disagree?

9:56: Next week looks really good.  This season has been decent so far, but we need more scandal.  Perhaps I was just spoiled by the ending of Bachelor Pad last year...

10:00: I was not very impressed by these closing credits...until Sean's words to end the episode.

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