Monday, January 07, 2013

The Bachelor: Season Premiere

Finally, the premiere is upon us.  And after you watch this one minute clip of Sean, you'll be as fired up as I am.  Just tremendous emotional manipulation in that package, especially the piano solo at the end of the clip.

If you're looking for a primer on the bachelorettes, look no further than my Bachelor preview of the bachelorette bios that sums up the important facts about each woman.  The quick summary for me is that Lauren, Lesley, and Lindsay are all fighting for top FMC status.

7:56: I'm calling 8:05 for the "When will Chris Harrison say 'Hi, I'm Chris Harrison' followed by me immediately typing 'You don't need to introduce yourself, Chris.  We know who you are.'" pool.

8:00:  Yes!  It's here!

8:03: I see that this is going to be the season of gratuitous shots of Sean's body.

8:04: I suppose that's fair given that I get 25 women to ogle at.

8:05: For the record, I was not aware that "ogle" was spelled with only 1 G.

8:06: Wow, I was way off with my guess of an 8:05 Chris Harrison intro.

8:07: Someone needs to explain to me how Sean is single.  After watching this vignette, I think I'm falling for Sean.

8:11: My extensive research of the bachelorette bios tells me that the troublemaker from the preview of this season is either Selma or Tierra.

8:14: I like that Arie and Sean are boyz.

8:15: This Arie/Sean segment is tremendous.

8:18: Arie and Sean need to have their own reality show.

8:21: OK, that was all fun and good, but I think we've earned ourselves some sitdown Chris Harrison interview time.

8:23: Why is being The Bachelor humbling?  Isn't it the opposite of humbling?  You're put in a place where 25 women worship you.

8:24: Chris Harrison just introduced himself, so please indulge me.  You don't need to introduce yourself, Chris.  We know who you are.

8:25: Tierra: "I've been in love twice, and I've had my heart broken...twice." Tierra is quite the math genius.

8:27: Look at Diana's house.  No normal single mom lives in that big of a house without being loaded.

8:29: If you're not rooting for One-Armed Sarah, you don't have a heart.

8:30: Lesley is currently the lead FMC, but I feel like she could be overtaken.

8:32: Forget about AshLee's sob story.  AshLee needs to work on her running technique.  That's terrible.

8:36: Is anybody else excited about the upcoming botched backflip/cartwheel limo entrance?  Or is that just me?

8:37: Oh, it's just me.  OK.  Just checking.

8:38: I'm demanding a sitdown interview, Chris Harrison.  DEMANDING.

8:39: No sitdown interview.  Unbelievable.

8:40: Sean was kinda standing awkwardly while waiting for the first girl.

8:40: I'm a fan of AshLee.  As long as her date with Sean isn't a jogging date, she'll be fine.

8:41: Love that they went all Latino music for Selma's entrance.

8:42: Where was the backhand slap part of the handshake?

8:44: Fifty Shades of Grey psycho Ashley scares me.

8:45: Who just screamed "OMG" in the car?  Do they actually say the letters now, and not the actual phrase?  Do they realize that it's the same number of syllables?

8:47: Holy crap!  Is he going to do what I think he's going to do?!?!?!

8:48: SPOILER ALERT: Tierra's getting a rose after the commercial break.

8:50: I like how they went to commercial like Tierra's fate is up in the air.  C'mon.  It's so obvious she's getting a rose.

8:53: The reaction from the other girls to her rose should be interesting...

8:55: Nice move by Amanda.  I'm going to steal it.

8:56: Keriann should just pack her bags home now.  On the other hand, I'm in on Desiree.

8:57: Props to ABC for not milking the reaction from the other girls to One-Armed Sarah's one-armedness..

8:58: Lesley is the lead FMC.

8:59: Is Kristy The Model going to follow in the steps of Courtney The Model?

9:00: Yeah, emerging in a wedding dress is kind of a step too far...

9:02: Is an ex emerging from the car?  What's going on right now?  I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL AFTER THE COMMERCIAL.

9:06: Oh nooo...

9:07: Can't wait to see the reactions of the other girls to Needy Kacie's triumphant (?) return.  Can't believe NK is back.

9:08: Yeah, who is thinking that NK is here to "give advice"?  Because, I mean, that's an "advice-giving" dress.

9:11: Love that it doesn't say Kacie's job under her name on her caption.  It just says "Ben's Season".  Awesome.

9:12: Desiree is setting a world record for most times a person can lick her lips in a minute.

9:14: This show is the best.

9:20: Rulebreaker Sean!  Love has no rules!

9:21: I wish I could bet on things like "Sean will give a rose to one and exactly one of the African-American bachelorettes".

9:21: "I wish I was more sober right now."  This show is the best.

9:24: Fifty Shades of Grey Ashley is...something.  Wow.

9:25: Fifty Shades of Drunk.  Well done, Sean, well done.

9:35: I also wish I could have bet on things like "Sean will give a rose to the one-armed bachelorette".

9:36: I'm OK if NK isn't part of this season.

9:42: I love how they've split up the rose and non-rose bachelorettes for the rose ceremony.

9:43 FMC lives to fight another day!

9:44: Oh dear God no.  Not more NK.

9:46: Love the reaction shots of the girls after the final rose is handed out.  Does that make me a bad person?

9:47: So way it's real, right?  I'm talking about the tan.  Get your head out of the gutter.

9:56: I'm shocked, shocked, that the girl whose name sounds like a crown for nobility might be a source of drama.

10:00: Bumsky!

10:01: There seems to be a lot of potential.  The next couple of months should be fun!

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