Saturday, February 16, 2013

The Bachelor: Episode #7 Recap

The recap is late because I've been spending all my time watching the epic Angela Miller performance from American Idol this past week, and by extension, Emotive Keith Urban Faces:

Keith was shocked by the quality of the first few notes from Angela Miller:

Giddy astonishment:

Feeling the emotion of the song:

Becoming one with the music:

Even Mariah stopped watching the performance so she could watch Emotive Keith Urban Faces:

Standing ovation from the judges, and Keith doesn't know what to do with himself afterwards:

Onto the show!

0:02: There's only one way to start the show: a shot of FMC!

0:04: AshLee, how do you feel about getting the 1-on-1 date?

0:04: Tierra, how do you feel about not getting the 1-on-1 date?

0:05: Tierra shares her feelings about AshLee while enraging all 30+ single women across America in the same interview.  She's big on multi-tasking.

"AshLee is 32 years old...why hasn't she found somebody who she can settle down with?  Like, you're 32 years old."

Shots fired!

0:06: I want to know who is going to pick up Sean and AshLee's clothes that they left on the beach, and what they are listed as in the closing credits.  "Clothing organizer"?

0:08: FMC looks amazing in a bikini.  Look at those abs!

0:09: AshLee creates a word to describe Tierra: "PoutyPants".  That's pretty accurate.

0:10: AshLee definitively states, "This is my future husband."  Who's going to break the bad news to AshLee?

0:12: Tierra receives the 1-on-1 date and proceeds to complain about how it's not the type of date that she wanted.  FMC sums up everybody's feelings quite well: "She's so miserable.  She's the most unhappy person I've ever come in contact with.  I hate that bitch."  Yet another reason why Lesley is an FMC - I love a girl who cuts the BS and gets to the point.

0:16: AshLee's secret is that she got married in high school.  Take that, Tierra!  She was married way before you!

0:25: Tierra tells Sean that she tries to get involved with the other girls and that she tries talking to them.  This is coming from the person who refused to sleep in the same bed/room as the other girls and moved a cot to the living room for herself.

0:29: Tierra has referred to Sean and the show as a game twice this episode.  First, when talking to Sean about the distance she felt with him on their 1-on-1, she said, "I feel like I'm behind in the game." Second, when talking about how someone in the house spoke out about the tension in the house, she said, "I can play that game right back."  So the show is a game to Tierra.  Which doesn't surprise me given that Tierra just got engaged.

0:34: When Sean crashes the bachelorette house at 4:30 AM, he must have seen that Tierra had moved to a cot outside of the bedroom, right?

0:36: Sunrise date.  Pretty good.

0:36: Sean needs to learn how to drive.  He's all over the yellow line!

0:46: Catherine spills her heart out about her dad being depressed and living in China.  That half-explains one of the big mysteries I couldn't figure out this season: What ethnicity is Catherine?

0:47: Damn...

0:49: Look at Dez breaking the fourth wall by looking directly at the camera!

Why did Dez look at the camera?  Because she knew she was about to cry and was embarrassed that it was going to be caught on camera.

0:49: She did it again!  It's endearing that she's embarrassed about crying on camera.

0:51: Now that I've noticed Dez looking at the camera, I can't stop noticing every time she does it!

1:03: Words of wisdom from big sis.  Big fan of Sean's sister:

1:04: Let's remember the following exchange.
Tierra: Some people have sabotaged me.
AshLee: And who is that?
Tierra: Just, like, all the girls.

1:05: "I'm a 24 year old woman.  You're 32 years old."  I don't even know what that is meant to imply.

1:05: Shay's reaction to finding out that Tierra does not "hang out with the other girls" says it all.

1:06: Shay's advice: "Don't end up with the girl nobody likes."  You go girl.

1:06: The Tierra Storm Off.

1:07: "I never brought the girls into this, AshLee."  I could have sworn you just said all the girls were sabotaging you.  Cue AshLee's exasperated look to the producers off-camera and asking them to "re-roll tape".

1:07: Let's be quite honest - of all the bachelorettes left in the house, AshLee is not the one you want to piss off.

1:08: AshLee and Tierra both need to stop saying that it was "a sabotage".  If you're going to argue, at least argue with correct grammar.

1:08: Catherine's face during this argument is priceless.

1:08: Word-for-word argument:
AshLee: "You said your parents say the same thing.  They were worried about you coming on here because you can't get along with girls."
Tierra: "They never said that.  They said 'Tierra, you have a sparkle.  Do not let those girls take your sparkle away.'"

If your parents are warning you that you might not get along with other women, don't you think that the problem is you, and not every other woman on the planet?


1:12: "I'm so sensitive and I have such a big heart..."  ...and humble, Tierra.  Don't forget humble.

1:20: "I can't believe they did this to me."  Yes, Tierra.  They did this to you.  Not your fault at all.  This was all them.

1:30: I'm not sure how Sean found a way to say no to this, but he did.

1:31: You would think that Catherine would be happy to receive a rose.  You, of course, would be wrong.

Let's let Catherine explain because I surely cannot:
"I honestly can't explain how I'm feeling right now.  If he doesn't want Lesley, I don't know why I'm here.  She has more in common with him than I do.  I swear, I didn't want to say that but that's truly what I believe.  So this is extremely tough for me.  My beliefs are shattered about what he wants."

If Catherine truly believed that Lesley was a better choice for Sean than she was, shouldn't she be happy that she's gone since her main competition is out of the way?  Like, if I was on The Bachelorette and there was a guy who I thought was a better choice than me, I would be elated if he was sent home.

1:33: I can't wait until next week's hometown dates, especially Dez's.  That looks to be unlike any other hometown date ever on the show.

Final thoughts:
Dez is going to win, which I've said since the second episode, unless his family epically screws up the hometown date for her.

More interesting is that it's near the end of The Bachelor, and they still have not yet announced who the next Bachelorette is.  My theory why they haven't made the announcement yet is because they will announce one of the rejects from this season as the next Bachelorette, and it's going to be Lesley.  And it's more than wishful thinking - members of the Grantland Reality TV Podcast also believe this is going to happen.  I could not be more excited for this if it actually happens.  Is it too late for me to apply to the show?

1 comment:

  1. Catherine is half-Asian, but her dad is actually Italian and just happens to be living in China. Her mom is Filipino.


Try to be Chantastic by leaving a comment!