Monday, February 04, 2013

The Bachelor: Episode #5

Chris Harrison posted a picture of him working on his new clothing line.  And to that I say: Look at all the plaid!

I'm looking forward to this two-day Bachelor extravaganza, but unfortunately my schedule did not account for this glorious two day event.  As a result, I won't be able to live-blog the Tuesday show until later in the week.  Very sad news, I know.  That doesn't mean I won't be blogging about, just that it will be a later post - it will be posted here, likely by Thursday.

7:05: I'm excited for hypothermia night!  That's happening tonight, right?

7:59: I'm ready for some more Tierra absurdity.

8:01: Crap, hypothermia night isn't until tomorrow.  Booooo.

8:03: Not a whole lot of screaming in joy over the announcement of Montana.  Just recall previous seasons and how the bachelorettes react when they get to go to Europe.  Screams.  Shrieks.  Hugging. None of that for Montana.

8:04: Lindsay - very happy about Lindsay receiving the one-on-one date.  Everybody else: not as happy about Lindsay receiving the one-on-one date.  That's my expert analysis.

8:06: You can take The Bachelor out of the mansion, but you can't take the helicopters out of The Bachelor.

8:10: Signs I've been watching too much American Idol this season: My first thought about the guy who sings about "PEI potatoes" is that he doesn't have a very good tone.

8:15: Unlike in real life, you have to explain why you want to see a girl for another date on The Bachelor.

8:17: Who else just googled Sarah Darling?

8:18: Lindsay is moving up the power rankings tonight.

8:23: For the record, I do not find it necessary nor sexy for a girl to display her ability to "rough it" in the outdoors.

8:25: However, the "downing" of goat's milk might turn out to be strangely hot.

8:26: I really would like for FMC Lesley and Dez to be on the same team.

8:30: "Let me see those guns."  Sean with the double entendre of the episode.

8:31: I'm kinda diggin' Angry Lesley.

8:36: Rulebreaker Sean!  Love it.

8:37: Love that Lesley immediately puts up her hand after Chris Harrison says, "Maybe his wife is on the blue team."

8:39: Sarah's going home either tonight or tomorrow night.  If Sean truly wants a girl who can also rough it, Sarah's onehandedness is going to be a detriment.  Sad but true.

8:40: When Selma gets angry, Selma starts talking in the third person.

8:41: No way that the winning team is going to let this slide without some passive aggressive comments.

8:42: Let's not sugarcoat it.  Tierra is an attention whore.

8:47: Tierra: "This is so bold for me to do."  Um, didn't you just do this last episode?

8:49: Oh wow, AshLee.  How long did you give Dez?  Like 10 seconds?  Show some respect and give them a few minutes at least.

8:51: Is that really Chris Harrison's writing?  I'd guess no.

8:53: My thoughts about Catherine during my Bachelor previewI would like to visit Catherine someday because she lives in a world full of rainbows, sunshine, and unicorns.

I stand by that statement.

8:55: Dez should have gotten the rose just for the epic goat milk drinking display.

8:57: My least favorite words right now are Chris Harrison saying "Tuesday night on ABC".  I need to know about these things in advance, ABC.  I can only properly clear my calendar for The Bachelor franchise if I know which days to clear it out for.  Bah.

9:07: Chris Harrison with an epic Tweet to keep you entertained during tonight's episode.

9:11: OK, so we know Jackie's going home since Tierra is the reason for hypothermia-gate tomorrow night.  But at least Sean is finally seeing that Tierra is full of drama.

9:13: Tierra chose a great time to play the "dead boyfriend" card.  Well done.  Respect.

9:16: No limos in Montana, that's for sure.

9:17: Pretty sure that "open-hearted" isn't a word.  Or even a phrase.

9:18: Awesome editing by the production staff to show the contrast between Jackie's tears in the limo and Tierra's maniacal self in the interview room.  I've said it once, and I'll keep on saying it.  The production staff on this show is second to none.

9:23: Just realized - no shots of shirtless Sean tonight.

9:24: I am most definitely a fan of Dez's dress and Dez in that dress.

9:31: And boom goes the dynamite.

9:32: Still can't believe that disjointed mess of a speech that Tierra just gave.  Did she really just end it with "I don't even care at this point - If I want to get engaged, I could get engaged just like that"?  THEN WHY ARE YOU ON THIS SHOW?

9:36: Things drama-free girls don't need to say: "I'm not a drama person at all."

9:37: FMC Lesley to the rescue!!!

9:40: If I was one of the non-Tierra bachelorettes (yes, I know, that sounds weird, but bear with me), I would propose that whoever is sent home at the rose ceremony pull Sean aside and tell him the no-holds barred details about Tierra.  There's no reason why everybody wouldn't be onside with this.

9:43: Chris Harrison interview time!

9:44: Just realized why there's a two-part episode tonight and tomorrow night - everybody is getting a rose tonight!

9:45: Chris Harrison is asking the tough questions that we all want to ask.

9:50: If anybody is getting sent home tonight, it's going to be Sarah, Robyn, or AshLee.

9:53: Robyn better be going all Bad Girls Club when she doesn't get a rose.

9:54: Such a great camera shot of everybody forming a circle around Robyn except Tierra.

9:57: Canadian Rockies!  Alberta!  My home province!

9:59: What they left out of the "Coming this season" previews - Dez's boyfriend comes out of the woodwork to confront her.  Don't forget that still hasn't happened yet.

10:00: New power rankings:

1) Dez
2) Lindsay
3) AshLee
4) Lesley
5) Selma

10:03: Can't wait for the next episode.  This show is the best.

The second half of this two day Bachelor event can be found here.

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