Monday, February 18, 2013

The Bachelor: Episode #8 Recap

Chris Harrison tells us it's another two-part episode this week, and that tonight's rose ceremony "will blow you away".  My psychic abilities tell me that tears are going to be involved.

First of all, why is The Bachelor not available on the main page at City TV's website?!  This is outrageous.

Shame, City, shame!

0:01: What the hell is AshLee's dog doing with its front leg?  Is this the dog's way of signalling to the viewers that yes, AshLee is as unstable as she seems?
Raised right foreleg is dog sign language for "unstable mess".
0:05: You're never going to believe this, but AshLee was fawning over Sean.

0:06: Here is the most awkward celebration of love in the history of television:

0:07: AshLee says, "I've been dreaming about this day since I was probably 4 or 5 years old."  So since she was 4 or 5, AshLee has been thinking, "I can't wait to meet a guy on a reality dating show to bring home to my parents so that he can hopefully be my second husband"?  AshLee should forget about the personal organizer business and start a fortune teller business.

0:08: AshLee tearing up as she tells us a story.  I'm shocked.  That never happens!
Actually, it happens all the time.

0:09: AshLee's mom did not enjoy AshLee's comment of "a lot of romance".
AshLee's mom with the "I hope the cameras didn't catch her in a sexual act" face.
0:13: AshLee's dad is definitely not accustomed to the cameras.
"I see you!"
0:14: It got awfully dusty in the Chantastic living room when AshLee's dad told the story of adopting AshLee.
This segment was sponsored by Kleenex.

0:19: Very underrated: Catherine's one-handed catch.  Even Sean used two hands.  Impressive.
"Only suckers use two hands to catch a fish thrown at them."

0:24: Catherine's response to her sisters' questions about a proposal: "If he proposes in the end, I'd say yeah, I wanna try this out."  Catherine just put a marriage proposal on the same level as test driving a car.

0:36: Lindsay is growing on me, especially after her drill sergeant bit.
The funniest segment of the show this season.
0:47: Cutest moment of the show.  Dez's reaction to seeing Sean, followed by her saying to the producers, "I gotta go!" because the producers probably told her to wait for him to come to her to get a good camera shot.

0:51: Do not mess with one of Sean's four women.

0:52: I don't know why, but as soon as the actor walked in, I knew it was all a setup.

0:54: Dez's parents seem like the nicest people ever.  I want to see more of them.  They warm my heart.
They seem so genuine.

0:56: Dez's brother wants to "holla at him real fast".  First sign of trouble - who the hell actually says that?!

0:57: Underrated moment.  Dez says, "I don't want [my brother] to scare Sean away."  And you hear Dez's dad in the background mutter, "I know", followed by this shot:
Two words: Uh.  Oh.
Translation: There's no doubt in his mind that he's going to screw this up.

0:57: Oh, haha, is this another practical joke from Dez?

No, no it is not.

Time for my theory on Dez's brother and his outburst.  As we found out on Sean Tells All the following night, Dez's brother had a first conversation with Sean that went very well, which makes this conversation even more illogical.  My theory is that when Sean first entered the house, Nate was happy to be in front of the cameras with all the extra attention around him.  However, as the night progressed with the cameras and side interviews that largely ignored him and focused on Sean, Nate became jealous of the attention Sean was getting from both his parents and Dez, and as a result, he lashed out at him.

1:01: A shirtless Sean?  Shocking.  That never happens.

1:06: Chris Harrison sit down interview time!  He's the best.  But this time, not even the knowing nod of Chris Harrison was enough to bring clarity for Sean.
The patented Chris Harrison Knowing Nod could probably bring peace to the Middle East, but it could not bring clarity to Sean this episode.

1:10: Dez unexpectedly asks Sean for a conversation during the rose ceremony.  Why do I know it's unexpected?  Look at all the camera crew scramble to get out of the way in the background of this shot.

1:12: By the way, did anyone else notice how Dez towered over the other women?  Even though if you line it up, she only looks to be a bit taller than AshLee, she just looks tall in that dress.  Maybe it's just me.
Dez towering over Lindsay.

1:13: Did anyone else notice they had to turn on a light in the picture room when Sean abruptly left the rose ceremony to think over his decision because the room wasn't lighted properly?  These are the things I notice.

1:14: "Get this right.  Take your time."  Short, simple, and to the point, followed by a pat on the back.  That's why Chris Harrison is the best.
My new life motto: Get this right.  Take your time.
1:18: Heartbreak.

Closing thoughts:

I wish I could bet on things like "Dez is going to be the next Bachelorette".  And if someone can rationally explain to me how Sean sees a better fit with AshLee or Catherine than Dez, I'd like to hear it.  He totally let the brother thing overtake his thought process.

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