Monday, July 02, 2012

The Bachelorette: Episode #8

Hometown dates tonight, and I'm very excited.  I have it on good authority that Jef With One F does one of the most romantic things ever tonight.  But before we get into that, there's a bunch of Bachelor/ette/Pad related items to get to.

1) The season finale and After the Final Rose will be airing on Sunday night.  That means that they've laid the foundation for a Jason/Melissa/Molly last minute switcheraroo, right...?  Oh, who are we kidding.  It's Emily.  She would never do that.

2) The first Bachelor Pad promo is up.  In related news, Kalon remains a horrible person.

3) It's never too late to talk about the next season of The Bachelorette.  My keen detective skills noticed this exchange between one of the executives of at ABC and Gia from Brad's season of The Bachelor and Bachelor Pad 1 & 2.  I've officially reached my manifest destiny as a blogger who is starting rumours about reality TV, so feel free to share this post/rumour-that-I-just-started with anyone who you secretly gossip with about The Bachelorette.  But enough about me.  What would you think of Gia as the next Bachelorette?

4) Star magazine is reporting a potential relationship between Emily and America's everyone's favourite reality show host, Chris Harrison.  This would make the Jason/Melissa/Molly love triangle and Jake-chooses-nobody drama look like nothing.  And if you can't trust Star magazine, who can you trust?

5) Bachelor Pad is only three weeks away.  I've already given in to my inevitable falling for Jamie (the awkward kissing girl from Ben's season who was directing how their makeout session would go) and her awkward charm, so I've started following her on Twitter.  Only 312 followers - how is this possible for the person with one of the most memorable scenes in Bachelor history?  It actually makes it remotely possible that she could potentially turn into an actual FMC since she's not actually famous, thus fulfilling my second manifest destiny to marry someone from the Bachelor franchise.

7:51: Excuse me for the next 3 minutes as I go get me some ice cream.

7:59: I wasn't joking.

8:01: Here we go...

8:02: Has anyone else noticed that Emily's scenes with Ricki have now replaced shrink sessions with Dr. Chris Harrison conversation scenes with Chris Harrison this season?

8:05: You know how you can tell that Emily isn't looking for someone exciting?  When she's labelling Arie as the "bad boy" with an edge.

8:07: This ice cream is delicious, by the way.

8:10: Prediction: The preview where they're showing Jef With One F's brother, Robert, telling Jef With One F that he has "never seen you want those things" (ie. being a husband and father) will actually be a scene where he tells him "I have never seen you want those things...until today."

8:11 The ice cream is melting.

8:12: "Chris told me that he loved me...and it feels so great."  Not exactly a ringing endorsement of Chris.

8:13: "On a scale of 1 to Polish, we're Polish." Not that much of a Chris fan, but he gets kudos for that quote.

8:14: Update: Ice cream is finished.

8:16: I look forward to Chris' sister, Renee.

8:19: The lack of ice cream for this commercial break makes me sad.

8:21: "...excited to meet their future daughter-in-law..." Hoooold your horses there, Chris.

8:22: I love how the dinner table seating is arranged like a sitcom so that everyone is sitting on one side of the table to allow the cameras to get a good shot from the other side.

8:27: On behalf of Betty, I take exception to Chris' characterization of his mom as "the best mom in the world".  Though to be fair, Betty never told me to go kick some ass and fight for someone I love...

8:28: Anyone else find how Chris dropped the L-bomb extremely awkward?

8:30: "If all the other hometown dates go like this, I'm in trouble."  No Emily, if all the hometown dates go well, you're sending Chris home, and there's no question about it.

8:34: Look at the way Emily greeted Jef With One F, and then think of how she greeted Chris.

8:35: This isn't a "ranch".  This is a freakin' compound.

8:36: I don't know why I'm saying this, but it makes so much sense that Jef With One F is a lefty.

8:38: Anyone else notice that Jef With One F's explanation of his parents "doing charity work" sounded completely dubbed over?  For those of you with PVR, rewind it and play it back.  You'll notice it for sure.

8:44: The lemonade cheers was rather charming.

8:46: Look at the positioning of the seats with the conversation with the sisters.  It's setup like an interview.

8:47: Is it just me, or does the one brunette sister looks a bit like Ashley, the previous Bachelorette?

8:48: The one surefire way to win over the sisters is to show how good of a mom you are with one of their kids.

8:49: The lighting for these confessional interviews with the family members is somewhat poorly done.  It's very obvious that there's extra lighting from the glow on

8:51: Why is he not looking at her?  If you're going to declare your love for someone, shouldn't you look into their eyes for at least a couple of moments?

8:52: Well, at least he ended it by looking into her eyes for the last sentence.

8:55: Jef With One F > Chris

8:57: Playing up the auto racing angle.  Well played, Arie.  Well played.

8:58: Emily looked pretty hot walking up with half the racing outfit on...

9:08: Awkward...

9:09: The private chat with Arie's mom is happening in a bedroom?  Really?

9:10: "One of the million things that I love about him..." Indirectly dropping the L-bomb.  A sign of the future?

9:12: I'd like for someone to explain to me a scenario in which someone's parents would not approve of Emily.

9:21: Sean The Cyborg Specially Designed For The Bachelorette is not afraid to use some tongue with Emily.

9:22: They just walked away from the picnic without cleaning up.  If you're going to pretend like the producers aren't involved, at least don't show them walking from the picnic.

9:26: "I think a life with Sean would be perfect."  The thing is, no girl wants perfect, and that's why she won't choose Sean in the end.

9:27: Only rich people name their kids "Kensington".  Can you picture "Kensington" being from a poor family?

9:29: "I wish my mom would have cleaned up a bit."  Wow.

9:30: Well played, Sean, well played.

9:35: Again, Sean is not afraid of using his tongue.

9:37: Sean really likes to run around chasing Emily.

9:38: I'm betting that Sean's use of tongue was much more liberal for that last kiss since the cameras weren't around.

9:39: I'm going to be disappointed if there's no sitdown conversation with Chris Harrison tonight.  It's been a while since we've seen him put on one of his patented head nodding clinics.

9:40: Drink every time you see Chris Harrison doing the head nod during this interview.

9:41: The cutaways are taking away from the head nods.

9:42: "He's been so open with me from Day 1."  Apparently Emily is now willing to completely overlook the whole "I once dated the producer" thing.

9:44: This is what Emily is referring to: "Hey, remember the time when you brought Emily to meet us, and then she broke up with you a few days later?"

9:49: Jef With One F looks really short compared to the other guys.

9:50: I love how Chris Harrison comes out to tell everyone it's the final rose when only three roses are being handed out.

9:51: Chris is the only person in North America who is shocked that he wasn't chosen.

9:52: Chris is not taking this well.

9:53: Chris did not let Emily close the limo door for him.  He is not taking this well.

9:54: Chris claims he is ten times the man that the remaining guys are.  He's also extremely humble.

9:56: They lied to us!  The Emily meltdown comes next week, not this week.  Not impressed.

10:00: I'm looking forward to next week.  To be precise, I'm looking forward to next week to see how Emily deals with the fantasy suite situation with the three guys.  Does she go boinking with every guy?  None of the guys?  Or just with frontrunner Arie?

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