I'm so excited for The Bachelor season premiere that I'm doing a live running diary as I watch the show. This page will be updated as the show unfolds over the premiere's two hours.
6:50: I'm excited to have Chris Harrison back in my life. I'm not so sure I'm as excited to have Winemaker Ben back in my life. He wasn't exactly Mr. Charismatic when he was on The Bachelorette.
6:54: Just went over my Bachelor preview to see who I had chosen as FMCs. Unlike previous seasons, it turns out I only chose one FMC - Casey S. I guess I'm not quite ready to channel my inner Brigham Young just yet.
7:50: Slowly realizing that I'm still jetlagged from my flight home yesterday. It's a little like being drunk. I wonder if I'll also be wearing the equivalent of beer goggles as I watch the show. If I keep on saying everyone looks hot, you'll know what happened.
7:55: Re-reading my own Bachelor preview since it's been three weeks since I wrote it. I'm masterblogging.
8:00: "Last season on The Bachelorette..." Here we go!
8:01: I stand by my assertion that Ben's rejected proposal reaction was the best one I've ever seen. "Shut up, I don't want to hear it" is essentially what he was saying.
8:06: The production staff on The Bachelor is really good at making voice-over music montage videos that straddles the fine line between cheesy and heart warming. That three minute background on Ben was well done.
8:08: Mariah Carey doing a Jenny Craig commercial. It's somehow both mortifying and a turn-on to watch at the same time.
8:11: Kacie's cute accent is winning me over.
8:13: Jamie became a FMC in the two minutes it took to air her promo video.
8:17: Shawn's son Gavin put a really good swing on the ball during her segment, but he shouldn't be swinging at those high pitches. As a baseball guy, I feel you should know these things.
8:24: Nobody can ever convince me that Ben is going to be a better Bachelor than Ames would have been.
8:25: Chris Harrison is the best at doing the knowing nod in interviews.
8:28: Chris Harrison lied! He said he that they had brought 25 women from across the country to meet him. Lies! Amber is from Canada. I did my Bachelor homework. You can't get anything past me, Chris.
8:33: Erika, that was a horrible line about being guilty. You would have been better off showing him your lip tattoo.
8:33: Amber just gave Wendy's Baconator some free advertising.
8:34: Jenna. Is. Awkward.
8:36: I'm convinced that Courtney saying that she was a model just naturally makes her hotter.
8:37: I. Love. Casey. FMC for sure.
8:38: Well, it's clear that some girls have decided to unleash their guns tonight.
8:42: Grandma in the hizzie!
8:48: I appreciated the porn star music entrance for Anna.
8:57: Grandma is 72 but commented on Ben, "If I was 30 years younger..." That means either a) Grandma thinks she would have shot at Ben if she was 42, or b) Grandma didn't want to date herself so tried to make herself seem younger by saying 30 instead of 45.
8:58: Ben is bringing the funny. He's shown more personality tonight than all of last season.
9:00: Nicki said "I'm ready to open my...life to Ben." I swear she was going to say "legs".
9:02: Lindzi doesn't look like she's only 27.
9:05: Earliest limo tears in the history of The Bachelor franchise. 1 hour and 5 minutes into the season, Grandma starts the waterworks. We just witnessed history!
9:10: I'm so tired right now that I almost tried to take a nap during this commercial break. The only thing stopping me is the thought of seeing Casey again.
9:12: Emily breaking out her inner Eminem. Why did Ben give her the stiff palm clap afterwards?
9:14: If you're not counting, Courtney has now mentioned that she's a model twice. She's talked to him twice.
9:17: Monica....is a psycho.
9:18: Who's more psycho, Monica or Jenna?
9:24: Monica in the interview room: "Jenna is crazy." Followed by a crazy cackle. I still don't know who's crazier.
9:25: I would have never guessed I was going to hear the word "douche" tonight.
9:27: Both Jenna and Monica are acting like they're drunk. Jenna can't put a coherent sentence together, and Monica is saying she wants to start a fight.
9:40: Casey S. gets a rose. Ben has good taste in women.
9:42: Courtney The Model received a rose. What a shocker.
9:43: Jenna gets a rose! Everyone is shocked. All the girls are shocked. I'm shocked. I bet even Ben is shocked. The only person who isn't shocked is Chris Harrison. Because Chris Harrison is a pro, and nothing fazes him.
9:45: Lyndsie the wacky, crazy Brit can't understand why she wasn't given a rose.
9:50: Is anyone shocked that Courtney The Model is going to be the villain this season?
9:56: I think that skinnydipping clip might be the most X-rated footage ever seen on The Bachelor.
10:00: Great start to the season. I was worried about Ben being boring, but he seems to have a personality this season. Now if you'll excuse me, I must go pass out.