Friday, December 16, 2011

Hong Kong Day 8: Potential girlfriends, future wives, and fake gay partners

Noodles for lunch at noon, followed by dessert, then dim sum at 3, with a dinner at 7:30 to cap things off.  That's how to eat like you want diabetes a champion.

I've spent an enormous amount of time on the Hong Kong public transit system, and there's two things I've noticed.  The first is how much more efficient everything is here.  The second is how I feel like a giant on every form of public transportation.  I'm not exactly a giant by North American standards - a tall 5'9", or more preferably, a short 5'10" - but above average for Hong Kong.  More importantly, space is at a premium everywhere in Hong Kong, even buses and subways.  So I find myself scrunched over on double-decker buses since my head would otherwise graze the ceiling, and I've lost count of how many times I've hit my head on the dangling hand supports on the subway since the crowded subway leads to me being pushed in various directions.  My conclusion: being tall is overrated unless you enjoy being unceremoniously smacked in the head or face.

When I hopped on the subway today, there were four tall young leggy Caucasian girls sitting across from my parents (being the dutiful son that I am, I let my parents sit - I'm not that spoiled).  They appeared to be from Russia, Ukraine, or Poland given the language they were speaking and in town for either a fashion shoot or some kind of dance/ballet gig.  When we hopped off the train, I asked my mom her opinion of the four, and who she thought was the best looking.  These are the ridiculous conversations I have with Betty (for the record, she preferred the brunette on the left while I preferred the blonde on the right, though she was closely followed by my mom's choice as a FMC).  Finding a good spouse also came up as a topic of discussion at dinner with a table of fourteen Chantastic relatives.  Since all of the cousins present were already married, they naturally started talking about me, and when I'll get a girlfriend, and maybe I have one and my parents just don't know, and perhaps the next time I visit Hong Kong I'll be accompanied by the Current Mrs. Chan (CMC), but then maybe it will be a while before that happens because it's difficult to travel such a long distance with small children, but then maybe I won't have that problem because the CMC will have children with a baby daddy so they'll be past that age, but wouldn't that mean that she'll be way older than me?  As you can see, it spiraled out of control quickly.

I also visited my uncle's condo after having dim sum with him.  He has a cat, and my mom loves cats.

I repeat: Betty loves cats
The plan for Days 9-11: A trip to Macau with my parents, my aunt and uncle, and my buddy Lam.  I wonder if my relatives will make the leap to thinking that I'm gay with Lam.  After all, we're both single guys and both timed our trips to Hong Kong together.  Hell, if I'm wondering if people will think that, then people are probably going to at least ponder it.  It doesn't help that Lam will never be confused with the most masculine person on Earth.  He'd definitely be the bottom.

Actual hugs 3, Non-hug greetings 21 (I'm not double counting relatives I've already seen)


  1. Why am I not listed among the Cast of Characters? Why won't you love me Chan?!? WWYLM indeed.


  2. Betty loves cats, and judging from the pic, cats love her too.


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